Posted by fairywings on May 3, 2006, at 7:03:06
In reply to Re: So confused and upset » Daisym, posted by fallsfall on May 1, 2006, at 7:45:31
Hi Daisy,
Everyone knows how wonderful and kind you are, you're not horrible at all. I'm glad you've been able to make such a difficult decision. You didn't make it hastily, you've tried. It seems, from your posts, you've been in a marriage where you have a lot of fear, you're getting little or no love from your husband, and none of your needs met otherwise. It doesn't sound like there's any room to grow little daisy in that environment. Take her and let her blossom somewhere else.
It was really kind of you to pull that list together for him. It must feel threatening to have him going to someone in you T's office.
I had to wonder why he decided after all this time now was the time to get his act together, and why he made the decision to go with someone in your T's office - did he know they were from the same office? And could your T suggest to the other T there might be some conflict of interest, and not take your husband on as a client? I know the shock of having you leave maybe made him realize what he was losing, but is it possible, by asking for therapy, he was just to try to get you to stay? Didn't he understand before how much you were suffering, and how dysfunctional the marriage was? I was just wondering why he didn't try harder....sooner? Maybe he just always taken for granted you'd be there. I hope he's sincere about his realization he needs therapy. I hope whatever it works for him, so he can be happier with himself, and I hope he's doing it because he genuinely knows he needs to change so he can be happy.I can't imagine you're in trouble for anything. Seems you were just making a kind gesture. I hope you can move on and fulfill the potential you couldn't while you were being stifled in a bad marriage. It can't be easy to leave, but do you have some relief now that you've made the decision, and you've decided to move on with your life?
I hope your T will be by your side through all of this.
((((((hugs)))))
fw
poster:fairywings
thread:638672
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/639534.html