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Re: So confused and upset » Daisym

Posted by Poet on May 1, 2006, at 15:15:40

In reply to So confused and upset, posted by Daisym on May 1, 2006, at 2:45:31

Hi Daisy,

I don't think you're a horrible person. A horrible person would not have gotten a list of therapists together.

<<I'm absolutely terrified that I'll be in trouble for what I've done. Some part of me is sure he is going in to tell on me. But it isn't about me -- it is about him.

You're right, it is about him. In his therapy sessions he'll be talking about himself. If his T is any good s/he will guide him back to talking about himself if he strays to talking about you.

I think it's very smart of you to advise him that he needs to see a therapist for individual therapy before any discussion of couples therapy. It looks to me that your leaving him blindsided him and he needs to work through why it happened. He had no idea it was coming and so then he has no idea of what his part was in bringing it about. His part- not anything you did.

As I said, you are not a horrible person. A horrible person would go to couples therapy to *work* on a marriage that in your heart you know is over. You are a caring person.

Safe cyber hugs.

Poet

 

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