Posted by orchid on April 25, 2006, at 14:44:45
In reply to Re: Why is the T relationship sometimes the hardest » orchid, posted by happyflower on April 25, 2006, at 8:21:19
I think you should tell him everything right now before it is too late. And ask him what he means and ask him to help you out with your feelings for you right now.
I think you are perhaps afraid of his reaction and are afraid that he might terminate you if he knew the full extent of your feelings, and are perhaps keeping a good part of it to yourself and are letting him see only the tip of the iceberg. But postponing it would hurt you IMHO.
Sooner or later, he might decide you have worked out everything you could, and are simply hanging in there because of your feelings, and he might decide to terminate. Also he could feel conflicted himself, if he is keeping you there to satisfy his desires, and he could end up terminating you. And it simply could get out of hand for himself and he may not know how to deal with it other than termination.
And once termination comes into picture, the chance of working out on your feelings for him diminishes greatly. He may not be so responsive later on to your feelings when he starts thinking of termination. And it will be hard for you to end up with unresolved and unworked on feelings.
I don't know if he would even do that, but I am simply saying from my experience. IT is better to let your T know the full extent of your conflict about this now than later, so that he can do something about it when you still are working together.
poster:orchid
thread:636577
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/636947.html