Posted by Kath on August 30, 2008, at 20:40:02
In reply to What do I say to people when I go back to work???, posted by TexasChic on August 29, 2008, at 12:15:22
Hi TC,
I'll give it a try - keep in mind, these are just ideas - obviously I don't know any of these people, but it might give you a jump-off point to think of what you might feel comfortable saying:
> 1. Authentically concerned co-worker:
>
> Where have you been?- "I've been off for a while" probably followed quickly by something to move the conversation along to a more comfortable topic... ex "I've been off for a while, but now it's catch-up time" followed maybe by something else, depending on how involved you are in working with the 'asker'. "......but now it's catch-up time - which reminds me - how has that such-&-such project going?"
Maybe think of various 'follow-up' parts to add for different people. (All this depends on how much time/thought/energy you want to give to it.)
If you keep talking for a bit, you might be able to get their mind OFF of you & onto something else.
> Are you okay?"Yup, I'm okay, thanks for asking.." once again, quickly followed by something to move the conversation along & make it clear in a friendly way that that's all you want to say. Some people might try to pull the conversation back, so you might want to sort of role-play a conversation with yourself, seeing what you can come up with.
I'd be glad to help you in any way I can TC. Even to us posting back & forth with me being your fellow-worker, if you decide you want to.
> Were you injured?
"Oh no. Nope. Thanks for asking" & once again, moving the conversation on in a friendly way.
> 2. Nosey/catty co-worker:
>
> What was wrong with you?This reply would depend on lots of things. On your personality; on theirs; on your relationship with them; on your sense of humour; on theirs.
"You want the epic - or the condensed version? Seriously, thanks for asking. Everything's good now. But I DO have tons of work to get done, so excuse me, but I gotta boogie."
"Oh, nothing I want to dwell on, but thanks for your concern - that's nice of you to ask. Hey, I was wondering about..." (whatever - maybe something to do with the company, etc)
> Did you have a nice vacation - must be nice."Yeah - well I've had nicer ones....now I've got lots of work to get done, so I guess I pay for it now..." (smile) "....anyhow, I really have tons to do today, so excuse me - gotta make every second count"
"Yeah - really!" (smile) "Anyhow, my work awaits me now in piles, so 'scuse me, but...." etc
> (Fake) is there anything I can do for you?
"Apart from helping me attack my workpile?" (smile) "Thanks - really - but ya know, I'm sorry, I have really got to tackle my workload or I'll be here all night!" (smile while walking away, or if they're at your desk, smile & turn to work & get RIGHT into doing it)
You might well need to use a version of the "broken record" technique, which involves saying basically the same thing in different ways, over & over again.
Diversion could be really necessary, so you might want to have LOTS of ideas of diverting things to say; diverting topics.
> 3. Boss:
>
> So are you ready for the upcoming busy workload?"Yup I sure am...." if appropriate (like if she likes to be looked up to): "...so what do you see as being the highest priority?" or "...what would you like to see me tackle first; I was thinking such-&-such but wanted to get your opinion..."
It depends on what she's like & how 'real' you want to be or how much 'sucking up' you feel like doing, etc.> Do I need arrange for additional help, I need to know now.
"Thanks for thinking of that Barb; I need to know what the workload is first before putting you to that trouble." (that's just ONE thought...obviously she might turn what you say against you....you have a way better idea of what she's like.)
>
> I care about you, keep me updated on how you're doing.Depending on what your puke-barometer is....
"Thanks Barb; I will certainly keep you updated &
I appreciate your support."> I don't have time to tiptoe around you, are you sure you're ready to take this on?
"No tiptoeing required..." (smile) "I'm back onboard & looking forward to......" - whatever you might say positive about your job?
I suspect that you're NOT feeling ready - so that's a hard one. How are your feeling about it?
> This doesn't change anything about you being on suspension. [or whatever its called] I still expect your performance to improve. Do you think you can handle that?This is a hard one TC. I wonder how involved HR is in the whole thing. At one point, it seemed like they would be quite involved & very supportive & trying to ensure fairness.
I also am not sure how the time off work was presented to your boss? I'm sorry; I can't remember.
"Oh yes, I realize that. That's my goal certainly."That's a difficult one! I don't know what she's like enough to have a good idea for that one.
I'm here this coming week, and on Saturday, DH & I go away for a week.
love & hugs & support coming your way.
xox Kath
poster:Kath
thread:848587
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080816/msgs/849329.html