Posted by raisinb on May 20, 2009, at 21:52:35
In reply to Re: Just looking for attention » raisinb, posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 20:05:58
In the moment, it is terrible, I know. But your therapist has to help you with that. Try not to take all the responsibility. She will get you through it.
It's easy to feel like you're the only one with intense sexual transference. But you are not! I can't even tell you all the things I've fantasized about doing to my therapist :) And struggled so much as to why. I mean, she's a typical suburban mom, really, and not my type at all--if I passed her on the street I wouldn't even notice her.
One thing that has helped me is analyzing all of my fantasies in detail, to get to the needs behind them. And to accept those needs. They really are okay, just basically human--perhaps intensified by bad parenting, or being frustrated for years. But not bad.
It sounds like your therapist can handle your feelings just fine. I have to tell you, at times, I don't think mine could. And it was awful. But I finally had to come to the place where I felt--fine, that doesn't matter. This is who I am, for better or for worse. Our relationship hasn't ended in perfection. Far from it. But I don't think it should. We're human, and part of the beauty of that is the messy, difficult, sexually intense, strange parts of us.
There aren't any quick solutions, but it sounds like you're on your way.
poster:raisinb
thread:896744
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/896897.html