Posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 4:25:20
In reply to Just looking for attention, posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 1:17:45
I guess I'm trying to sooth myself by posting. Even though clearly the rest of the world is sleeping. HAHA. I'm breathing. I'm doing that four second thing. Really.
I just realized that I might be having a bit of a panic attack. Guess what? I have Ativan. Just remembered. Hmm.
I have to teach a class in the morning. In just under 8 hours. Will that be effected if I take one right now? I really want to call her, but I think her phone sends a text message and that could wake her. Plus, she might think I'm in crisis cause I have been earlier this week. I don't want her to worry.
Wait, of course I want her to. I want her to care about me above everything right now. I just don't want to be a burden. And as I say that I realize that I don't really want her to care about me above all else. That would freak me out actually. I need her to care about herself and her kid and all of that first. Cause then she is real and possibly real enough to trust.
What am I saying anyhow?
poster:FindingMyDesire
thread:896744
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/896752.html