Posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 4:17:59
In reply to Just looking for attention, posted by FindingMyDesire on May 20, 2009, at 1:17:45
Have I reached that point in therapy or "my work" where it either starts really deepening at this point or fails? I mean, is this the hardest it gets? I mean, I liked her from the start in so many ways. I began getting attached quickly. And then I got really super attached in different ways - mostly in a way that felt romantic. But now, what's this SHITE? I feel like a baby. Really. I really truly need her to save me. I need her to hold me and love me and matter to her. F*ck. I'm totally screwed right now. This feels all too familiar, but it's like I can't place it. I feel pain and shame and rage and fear and love and just plain DESPERATE. I have to sooth myself somehow. After Saturday's face plant into the city sidewalks, I am NOT going to drink even though I am quickly understanding why people want to get high. JES*S that would be nice right now. Not that I do it. But I sure want to do something! Get me out of this body! How many cat videos can I watch on YouTube to laugh this off? By the way, laughing is the only thing that gives me a few seconds of relief right now so if you have any suggestions, feel free to send them my way.
poster:FindingMyDesire
thread:896744
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/896751.html