Posted by Karolina on May 1, 2006, at 17:49:59
In reply to I couldn't look at my T today, posted by happyflower on May 1, 2006, at 16:10:27
If you managed to avoid eye contact with him, but he saw you at a distance - then I think maybe he would assume just as you said, that you just have a lot on your mind or was distracted. But if he was around you a whole lot while you were there but you just kept looking at the ground while he was near by, then yea maybe he would wonder if you were feeling okay, since you do usually talk to each other. I don't think he would take it personal.
When I saw my T out in public one day, he had seen me walking into the place and he was like right there, and all I did was give him an icy stare. I didn't even mean to, I think it just freaked me out to see him somewhere other than his office. But we definitely exchanged eye contact and the next time we met for our appointment, he acted really hurt and kept looking at me like the way I had looked at him that day, kind of like giving that icy stare back, until I brought it up. We talked it out and his whole mood seemed to change. He explained that it was 'ok' to say hi to each other in public and I felt better. So that's good you at least didn't glare at him or look at him without saying hi (THEN maybe, he'd take it personal, like mine did) but just avoiding all contact was what I would have done too.
I understand how sometimes it's like all the baggage and feelings that come with the therapy can seem exhausting. Like you just don't want to deal with it/think about it some days. Maybe avoiding contact with him was your unconscious way of justifying the situation. Like maybe you were frustrated that you spend energy and time thinking about the relationship when you think that he doesn't care as much about it, so you didn't want to give him the satisfaction today of trying to be 'nice' or make the effort to say hi. I could be wrong, sorry I don't know if this helps!
-Karolina-
poster:Karolina
thread:638845
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/638901.html