Posted by Kath on July 12, 2008, at 20:53:16
In reply to Yesterday, posted by TexasChic on July 12, 2008, at 10:01:11
> When I got back, I wrote my bosses boss an email and told him that when I found my action plan on the printer I was so upset I didn't realize the fact that it was just sitting there for anyone to see! In fact, there were several copies, and one was over on the table where we put stuff that
> people have left on the printer for a long time and hadn't picked up. So someone had taken it and put it on the table, probably seeing what it said.
>
> I also told him (I forgot to mention this earlier) that when I was talking to him that morning that rudegirl had come in the office beside us and acted like she was looking for something. A little while later another coworker came and told me that rudegirl had run over to her and said, "What's going on? I think T is getting written up! Do you know anything about it???" My coworker said she was so disgusted she just turned back to her computer and started working again. So I told him all of this as well as how my coworker had told me BossLady told her about it, and I told him that it looks like everyone will know before it even happens. I also said with all this going on, I have a hard time trusting that BossLady would be willing to work this out with me. So I sent that to him and another copy to HR saying how humiliated I was by the whole thing. The reason I did this was because I have been reading up on harassment and found out that one thing that qualifies is a supervisor belittling you in front of other coworkers. So I wanted it documented that I had complained about this. They were both already gone for the day, so I won't find out what they have to say about it until Monday.
>
> Its so hard to figure out what to report so that you're covered when you complain of harassment, and what is going to just sound like whining and make me look bad. But I'm handling it the best I know how. I try to always be very careful of my emails so that I'm not sending out something that is all crazy emotional. And Hopefully I will be over being mad by Monday and can talk to BossLady with a positive attitude. I really don't want to get another job, but I can't go on like this unless something changes.
>
> -T*****Dear TC - I think it's perfect that you wrote boss's boss what you did!!! I think it's very important that all those things are known.
I also am blown away by the WHOLE lunch thing & her knowing etc & not contacting you. I think you did well to pretend you were just looking around the mall. That was quick thinking & Huge maturity & self-control on your part.
I think you have a HUGE amount of justified anger & I strongly urge you to get some of it out in possibly various ways. Some people do well with writing; some with talking; some with physical stuff. Here are some suggestions. Hopefully some of them might work for you 'cuz I really think you need to get some of it OUTTTTTTTTTT:
- depending on how much your neighbours can hear, throw ice cubes one by one viciously into the bathtub, along with a verbal diatribe (had to look it up, but it IS the right word - "a bitter or malicious harangue; an abusive discourse"). The volume of the diatribe will depend on the soundproofness of your place! Everything you'd LOVE to say to each of them.
- I have a rubber camping mallet that I used to hit large empty plastic water, kitty litter or vinegar bottles with, while saying along with the hits, whatever I wanted to say to whoever I was angry with.
- put whoever's name you want to address - just their first name or a rude name, in the 'address' line of an email & compose whatever you'd love to say to them. Probably the more swear words or mean words the better! Be sure not to put a REAL email address in, just in case!!!!
- get felt pens & draw a picture of them, almost like a kid would, making them as ugly & outrageous as you like & also perhaps drawing what you'd like to happen to them. This can be a good thing to do with your 'non-dominant hand' - left, if you're righthanded etc. This is a way to let out inner child have a say in things! Words can also be part of the picture.
- write a letter to boss & to coworker, Dear Idiot Carol (or whoever) & put it in an envelope & put her initial on the front & drop it into a real mailbox. I did this once with my DAD, who'd been dead for years. I was actually afraid to put even his first name on the envelope!! even tho he'd been dead for years!! LOL So I put "B" on the envelope!!! I was amazed at how much emotion lifted out of me once I 'posted' it!
- take a pillow or cushion & with each punch, say one or two words -
Punch - I
Punch - HATE
Punch - your
Punch - Dam**d
Punch - Guts!
Punch - & I know
Punch - that you
etc etc.I am so sorry you're going through this TC. Please keep us up to date.
luv, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:838524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/839492.html