Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2008, at 12:06:55
In reply to Re: Bullies, posted by TexasChic on July 9, 2008, at 18:33:27
I think it's hard to figure out the motivation of bullies. Because I was bullied in middle school, childhood bullying has become something of a crusade with me. I don't know why adults continue this unproductive behavior, but they do. Probably with those they *can*, for whatever reason. Or, since this woman likes people who attach themselves to her, perhaps with this woman she can't stand to have people unattach.
If it happens to a lot of people with her, it may not be any particular qualities of yours. It may just habitually be her behavior. And certainly not in the best interests of the company.
But if you find yourself often in this situation, even putting aside the fact that bullies aren't so uncommon in large companies, maybe it would be worthwhile to consult with someone to see if there are ways to learn to avoid or discourage them? Whenever I hear that someone is having relationship problems that tend to repeat themselves, I think therapy might be helpful to head off future problems. Although in a work context, perhaps there are coaches who work in this area?
Which is not to say you've done anything wrong. I didn't do anything wrong in middle school, but if I ever see my son is being a victim of bullies, I would definitely seek out professional help to help him feel less helpless. (As well as tonguelashing the principal and handing her a stack of books on the topic. But I don't suppose that would work well with a supervisor.)
poster:Dinah
thread:838524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/839116.html