Posted by TexasChic on July 12, 2008, at 10:01:11
In reply to Re: Bullies, posted by Dinah on July 11, 2008, at 11:48:22
I woke up at 4AM completely inspired. I got up, got on the computer and gathered information on what ADD symptoms are, ways to work around specific problems, and then things that people with ADD excel at. I also wrote down every thing I could figure out that my boss had a problem with me about, and wrote out plans for working on it. I went in at 6AM knowing my bosses boss would be there and went straight to him to tell him what I had come up with. I was very excited about it. He told me to calm down several times because I sometimes shake and lose my breath when I'm nervous. People always overreact to this and act like I'm having some sort of fit. Anyway, he said he thought it sounded GREAT! I told him I was a little afraid that it would sound like I was making excuses, but he said it was a legitimate medical illness and I shouldn't feel that way. He also said he would sit in on my meeting with her if I like.
So after this I was feeling really positive and thinking, if I can just explain everything to her in the right way, this could work out. I think in the back of my mind I was thinking if I explained how every problem she had with me went back to ADD, she wouldn't write me up. I now think that was a bit naive.
So anyway, she and my coworker were out at the store and I had to drive out there to
pick up a memory card of pictures. This was the fist time I had seen my coworker since I had
found my write up on the computer. I had written her an email about it but had never heard back from her. So I waited and waited for her to say something when we were alone, but she never did. So I asked her if she had checked her email and she said no. So I figured she didn't know and said, "Oh, well BossLady left my action plan on the printer for everyone to see". She casually said, "Oh yeah, she told me about that". I was stunned. Not only did I now know for sure that BossLady knew I had seen what was written on that paper, but also all this nicey nice stuff she was pouring on was complete fake crap.So my coworker and I were in the food court getting lunch and BossLady was in another line. I told her I didn't think I cared to eat with BossLady. She said something like, "Aww, don't be that way". I said "What, you think I'm not pissed about this?" She just kind of avoided answering me and all of a sudden I realized I was really mad at her. She and I have confided in each other for the last two years about how crazy and unreasonable BossLady is, and now that I'm getting written up, not only didn't she warn me about it (she had said she was going to try to find out what was going on and get back to me), but she knew that I knew about it and never bothered to contact me to ask if I was okay or anything! (Part of me knows I really have no right to be mad at her because she is probably just trying to stay out of, but another part of me feels so hurt and betrayed!) So I just turned around and walked out and was almost to my car when I realized this was very unprofessional of me & I would have to answer for it later. So I went back up there and acted like I had been looking around the mall, and then I had to sit there while they laughed and talked about going out the night before and I sat there and tried my best not to glare at them. I mostly just sat there. After I left I cried all the way back to the office.
So now I just don't know if I can pull off trying to work this out because I'm so angry about it. Plus, all this deceit made me realize I was being naive about thinking if I explained everything I wouldn't get written up.
When I got back, I wrote my bosses boss an email and told him that when I found my action plan on the printer I was so upset I didn't realize the fact that it was just sitting there for anyone to see! In fact, there were several copies, and one was over on the table where we put stuff that
people have left on the printer for a long time and hadn't picked up. So someone had taken it and put it on the table, probably seeing what it said.I also told him (I forgot to mention this earlier) that when I was talking to him that morning that rudegirl had come in the office beside us and acted like she was looking for something. A little while later another coworker came and told me that rudegirl had run over to her and said, "What's going on? I think T is getting written up! Do you know anything about it???" My coworker said she was so disgusted she just turned back to her computer and started working again. So I told him all of this as well as how my coworker had told me BossLady told her about it, and I told him that it looks like everyone will know before it even happens. I also said with all this going on, I have a hard time trusting that BossLady would be willing to work this out with me. So I sent that to him and another copy to HR saying how humiliated I was by the whole thing. The reason I did this was because I have been reading up on harassment and found out that one thing that qualifies is a supervisor belittling you in front of other coworkers. So I wanted it documented that I had complained about this. They were both already gone for the day, so I won't find out what they have to say about it until Monday.
Its so hard to figure out what to report so that you're covered when you complain of harassment, and what is going to just sound like whining and make me look bad. But I'm handling it the best I know how. I try to always be very careful of my emails so that I'm not sending out something that is all crazy emotional. And Hopefully I will be over being mad by Monday and can talk to BossLady with a positive attitude. I really don't want to get another job, but I can't go on like this unless something changes.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:838524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080702/msgs/839428.html