Posted by WorryGirl on December 10, 2002, at 13:27:31
In reply to Re: I dread shopping. Thankyou Pfinstegg!!!!, posted by bluedog on December 10, 2002, at 10:12:21
I appreciate everyone's input. Pfinstegg, thanks so much for your support, and Eddie, it sounds like you can relate to constantly being treated as a 2nd class situation through no fault of your own other than "personal dynamics" as you put it. Blue dog, thanks for the link to the bullying thread. I completely related to that thread and added some comments.
I was bullied often as a child and feel that the treatment played a large part in who I have become as an adult. I guess it's easier for some than others to "leave the past behind". It's not like I go around thinking about it all of the time, but I believe that my childhood bullying helped contribute to my present anxiety and low self-esteem. They didn't think I was good enough, so maybe I wasn't? (they were just dumb kids, right - who made them the authority!)
As an adult, when I get treated like a 2nd class citizen (passive-aggressive bullying) it's like the wounds have re-opened which is why I feel the rejection more strongly than others. I am ashamed to say that at one time, as an adult, I left a wonderful position where I was highly valued by my boss, because of one bully who somehow managed to convince almost everyone else in the office that I was incompetent and probably giving BJs to keep my job! My boss was very stoic and from the old school, but felt extremely betrayed and hurt when I left, and couldn't understand why I let others' comments bother me. He thought I should've been stronger (and he was right).
I have to admit that there does seem to be some hidden radar that makes some people get treated better than others. Confidence is probably the #1 reason. Maybe when I feel that I am portraying confidence I am still giving myself away by subtle body language.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:33113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33165.html