Posted by starloree on April 25, 2006, at 15:34:05
that is the exact word my T used. let me explain:
the reason i started going to therapy is cause i was always yelling at my husband over little things. i have never yelled at anyone else in my life, it started when i got married, i found out later how ill suited we are for each other, we are seperated right now. anyways so, in the beginning, i would be upset with something my hubby did, then ASK him (not yell) to do it differently, or to DO it, or NOT do it, whatever it was. i would ask him nicely. but then, he usually ended up doing it again and again, not maliciously, never (husband is one of those "toosweet" guys, not a mean bone in his body), but he has a weird memory problem we don't know and can't afford to find out. so after awhile of him forgetting, i would have to keep on asking him over and over and again!!!!!it got annoying, so i started yelling at him, then after a while, started yelling at ALL the small things he did that bothered me. that is why i started therapy, it was getting out of hand. and my T, whom i have been infatuated with for the past two months or so (well, less so since he finally answered a few questions, is he gay, married or have a gfriend, and if he found me attractive, he has answered them, and haven't been as obsessive lately :) ). anyways so we were talking this past monday and he said something like "well, can you see how RIDICULOUS these things are??" i was so upset. when i get angry though, i cry, so i tried not to cry, but he could tell i was upset with that remark, but i was pissed off. how can he know exactly how it feels to have to always repeat yourself, to constantly have to tell your husband, who is nothing more than a CHILD, the things that he SHOULD know, that are common sense things? the main reason i have a problem dealing with hubby's memory (personality?) is because i grew up in household where my feelings were always denied or shunned. i wans't listened to ever at my home. and his memory prob makes me feel not listened to. and my T knows this, i TOLD him this. and here he goes, and tells me these things are RIDICULOUS!!!!!! i know his intention wasn't to make me feel like this, and he IS a grad student, so i shouldn't automatically think he would know better, but there i go!
thank you for all who read this, i just needed to let it out, can't talk to him til next monday, and by then, maybe i won't find it as important to talk about, plus we are going to start working on some DBT/ACT/and other stuff like mindfulness, we are doing a little bit of everything.
thanks again
starloree
poster:starloree
thread:636960
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/636960.html