Posted by Karolina on May 4, 2006, at 23:08:22
In reply to Well I told him, posted by happyflower on May 4, 2006, at 13:17:31
Good job!! That's really great you let him know how you feel, I know that was a hard thing to do.
I remember you saying that your T and you kind of had a chemistry, like an attraction to each other, so I can see how hearing what you had to say could have made him get defensive. Because he has an interest in you, he probably enjoyed talking about his personal life and feeling a special connection to you by disclosing things to you about himself...but it's kind of like a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, it *does* feel special to have your T be comfortable enough to share his personal life with you. It deepens the connection/bond in the relationship. But on the other hand, it's painful, because of the stupid boundaries he tries to keep about seeing each other outside of sessions, after he has been so open and shared things about his personal life.
It might feel like a loss because you may find yourself wanting him to open up like usual and now he says he will agree not to. I don't know what I'm trying to say but i still think you did the right thing by being honest with him about how you felt. But I think it was rude of him to say 'just don't talk to me' and I would have wanted to say 'F*ck you' too!
Maybe he can find a happy medium, to not become all clinical and 'too professional' all of the sudden, but not go back to his old ways either, but just to keep things friendly (like orchid had said) but in a way that is still both comforting and beneficial to you.
-Karolina-
poster:Karolina
thread:639968
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/640149.html