Posted by orchid on May 4, 2006, at 16:58:12
In reply to Well I told him, posted by happyflower on May 4, 2006, at 13:17:31
I can understand how you feel. You are quite very brave for having said what you said.
I think also that you are little bit p against a no win situation here. If he stops talking to you about himself, you will feel more hurt I think. I think that is wherer the sadness and the feeling of having lost something comes from. It is very understandable that you feel this way. And on the other hand, if he continues telling you about him, it would make him feel bad that he is not obeying your rules, and it might be like teasing you further. It is a no easy answer question.
I personally feel he should continue to treat you friendly, and involve a little bit of his self in the therapy going forwards, since it has already begun rather than abruptly stop telling you anything about him.
Also I felt a little disappointed at his reply to you. He should have probed your feelings further, asked you what makes it so difficult for you, tried to understand the depth of your feelings, and explained the rationale for him treating you the way he did. I think he got little defensive, and it is not very good for a T to do that when you were feeling very vulnerable yourself. Also he should have understood how sad you must be feeling and how conflicted you would be, and should have tried to empathize more with you. And maybe even apologize for causing you this confusion.
Also I think it is little bad taste to bring up termination in this session. It would have made you feel more hurt, and I guess a little bit *punished* for your openness. And not to mention that he tried to push the responsibility on to you - like asking you not to talk to him. It really sucks. And I am glad you told him that.
It could have been handled better by him.
poster:orchid
thread:639968
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/640047.html