Posted by one woman cine on May 2, 2006, at 13:46:34
In reply to T cancelled AGAIN!!!, posted by fairywings on May 2, 2006, at 13:11:23
I'm sorry he cancelled, you must be really disappointed. Consistency in therapy is so, so important & when that "consistency" aspect fails, its painful. I think that a therapist should consistent in terms of time, in fact its part of the therapeutic agreement. You both show up and work for the allotted period of time and work. & I think if there are other inconsistencies within the relationship, it can leave you feeling unsure and unsafe.
But, sudden things do come up that can't be forseen - things happen from time to time that can't be helped and it unfortunately causes distress. Did he give you any advance notice? (I hope he did.)
Maybe you can tell him how you feel. Whether you are feeling disappointed (or hurt or whatever) & you can work through it together. Feeling helpless and dependent sucks, but sometimes those are the best feelings worth examining in therapy. Don't give up on the therapy yet.
> This is the 7th time in 7 months - twice because he'd overbooked. Do you think 7 times is excessive? Twice it couldn't be helped - his dad died....I'm not completely callous. But I really needed to talk to him tonight. I'm really hurt that he cancelled again. Am I over reacting?
>
> Also, I wrote him a note a few weeks ago. He had no idea what I was talking about when I mentioned something in the note. At our appt. the note was clipped to the front of my file. He said he never got it. He said someone else must have opened it and clipped it to my file. His asst. is the only one who could have opened it, but when I talked to her today she said he DID get the note, that no one else opened it, and she said he HAD read it. It was sitting on his desk, and she knows he'd read it. She knew exactly what I was talking about, so she must know that he got it and read it.
>
> I feel so let down, like I can't depend on him, and now maybe I can't believe what he says - or maybe he's just too busy - he's hard to get in to see. I don't want to start all over with someone else - he's the 2nd T in a year, but I feel like he's let me down too many times. I'm really hurt, and I don't want to keep going through stuff like this. I admit it, I'm hurt, I feel unimportant, insignificant, and I'm having a temper tantrum.
>
> Why did I get myself into this? I never thought I'd end up feeling this way. Now I feel like it's just another opportunity to get hurt. I want to quit so I don't have to keep going through this, but thinking about quitting feels like ripping my heart out.
>
> I do feel like I've made some strides recently, but between him cancelling again, and feeling pushed to "move on" I'm just questioning if it's worth it. Is this a bad fit, or am I over reacting, or what? Do things like this send anybody else into a tailspin?
>
> I feel so incredibly stupid, weak, and overly dependent.
> fw
poster:one woman cine
thread:639220
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/639232.html