Posted by Tamar on April 25, 2006, at 20:59:20
In reply to Really bad reaction and no T to help me with it, posted by milly on April 24, 2006, at 11:52:05
What a horrible experience to see his face suddenly and unexpectedly like that. No wonder you had an intense reaction.
It’s scary to feel out of control like that … BUT on the other hand you did what you had to do in order to get safe. You insisted the magazine should be taken away because you needed it to be taken away, and that’s OK. I tend to think it’s healthier to have a strong reaction in public than to freeze emotionally until you’re alone. It can feel embarrassing, but on the other hand, you have perfectly good reasons for reacting the way you did and you don’t have to explain them unless you want to. Your feelings are entirely appropriate; this man terrifies you and naturally you don’t want to see his picture, and especially not casually and without warning.
Being over it takes time. And part of getting over it is recognising that sometimes you will need to react in a way that makes other people stare. But if you need to react that way, you’re allowed to. I guess I believe your health and sense of self-determination are more important than your reputation (but I don’t really know you, so feel free to ignore me if I’m talking crap).
Is there any way you can avoid going onto school premises? It seems unreasonable for your employers to expect you to go there in the circumstances. It may appear to be part of your job, but you’ve been victimised and your safety is paramount. Are you a member of a union? Can they help?
It’s very hard indeed to find yourself needing your therapist so much after termination. You must miss him terribly. And yet… I think he’d be proud of you for standing up for yourself and saying what you needed. I’m pretty sure he’d feel you’ve made immense progress despite the short time you were seeing him.
Hugs,
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:636476
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/637052.html