Posted by daisym on December 1, 2005, at 1:04:19
In reply to Re: Unconscious Seduction - long » daisym, posted by Tamar on November 30, 2005, at 19:35:59
****Your posts are so good for me, Daisy. I feel I’m taking some kind of vicarious help from them.
I'm glad. Really glad. I often feel like I write too much and in too much detail.
****I reckon sometimes there isn’t any particular reason why these feelings come back in force. Sometimes I read things here that ‘trigger’ feelings for me… but it’s usually in conjunction with other things (or maybe nothing at all). The story about the client in the restroom hearing her therapist on the phone is really scary. I suppose I can imagine a situation in which a therapist says something like that, not really meaning it. Any therapist who really means it probably shouldn’t be practising as a therapist.
I think sometimes I need to really check out the connection because something else is coming up. And other times it is what I'm missing in my life. Who knows? It is that spiral again.
****As for feelings of love and lust for therapists: they *are* real and they’re not disrespectful or dangerous. They’re natural and healthy and important. Just my two cents
I agree intellectually. So why does it frighten me?
****I think I can understand why you might be worried about unconscious seduction. After all, it’s something that’s inevitably outside your control. But I think the term sounds scarier than it really is. If you were being unconsciously seductive you might feel that your behaviour in session wasn’t really ‘you’. But I really think your therapist would pick up on it and help you deal with it. I certainly don’t believe it would scare him off.
We did talk about this today more. And that is kind of what he said -- it would be a change in me that we would talk about. And he said it was doubtful it would get away from me because I'm so hypervigilent about this kind of thing. He said sometimes the intensity of all this is scary -- for both of us. He knows how delicate it is and how important. He doesn't want to inadvertantly hurt me and we are on a very narrow bridge. But he said we are crossing it together, which is what is important.
***As for what it says about you: it might say any number of things. You might have a desire to rewrite history. You might want to find a way to experience a depth of pleasure that has been elusive up till now. You might simply want to feel beautiful. Or a number of other possibilities, none of which are shameful or bad.
Thanks for that. I sometimes wonder if I'm deluding myself about what I secretly, even from myself, am hoping for. But I think I'm simply amazed that I feel this way about anyone, entirely vulnerable, open and yet such a sense of security most of the time.
****I think it’s a good thing that your therapist is aware of how you might feel, and won’t fall into any traps. And I think it’s wonderful that you’re able to talk to him about all this stuff. I want to get my p*m-p*ms out for you…
Now that sounds seductive! :)
Have I said he makes it easy to talk about this? I did say on Monday that I wanted to talk about this but I might need a push or two. I find that giving him this input up front makes it easier to accept the pushing. Does that make sense?Thanks for the cheerleading. It helps more than you know.
poster:daisym
thread:583595
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051130/msgs/584035.html