Posted by Snoozy on May 10, 2003, at 12:45:00
In reply to i feel mournful about my year on zoloft, posted by bookgurl99 on May 10, 2003, at 0:31:39
Hi books -
I can identify with what you're going through. I hope you've found a good pdoc? The depression can make me so meek that I can't be assertive enough to get the best care. And I'm just kicking myself the whole time.
I hope your mind clears up now that you're off the Zoloft. The "brain fog" from these drugs makes me so crazy sometimes. I mean, when your attention wanders off during a 30 minute tv show....and you can't read the "McPaper" that's pretty pathetic.
I know this is way easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up about the past year. Yesterday I had to drive through one of the college campuses in town, and I saw all the graduates and people moving out of the dorms, all enjoying a nice spring day, lives full of promise. And I started dwelling again on how you know, if I'd been tried on Prozac when I was in high school instead of some lousy TCA and AP that had me explaining to all of my teachers why I was sleeping at my desk, maybe I could have gone away to the college I really had my heart set on, and my life would be totally different today. You can probably tell this is something I've thought about a lot over the years. But it really doesn't get me anywhere - it just makes me even more depressed. I think I had a point in there somewhere, maybe you can dig it out ;)
Anyway, hang in there and if it makes you feel better to share these feelings, keep doing so.
> Right now I'm not on 'anything,' due to a hard time starting up serzone again. I'm gonna wait a few more days to let zoloft clear.
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> BUT, I feel so much more 'with it' and present that I feel mournful about my year on Zoloft.
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> My partner was always upset, taking it personally that I didn't remember things I told her. My THERAPIST, who knew me long before, was starting to doubt me when I told her that I had _never_ had troubles in school or had an ADHD dx.
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> NOTHING IMPORTANT THAT I'VE WANTED TO GET DONE THIS YEAR HAS GOTTEN DONE!
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> I can't believe I was on this drug this whole time. It had some terrible side effects for me. And why did I stay on it? Because I went to a general practicioner, not a psychiatrist, and she did not believe me when I said I was having the symptoms of poor concentration and low motivation. She just patted my hand and wanted me to stay on.
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> I should have taken the bull by the horns and gone to a better doctor. But I didn't. WHY? Because the DAMN DRUG made me so malleable.
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> Oh, I weep for my lost year. ONE WHOLE YEAR.
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poster:Snoozy
thread:225001
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030505/msgs/225581.html