![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 3 to 27 of 27. Go back in thread:
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 29, 2006, at 16:18:39
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Lindenblüte, posted by Phillipa on September 29, 2006, at 13:15:31
Phillipa, you really think I've come a long way in a short time?
I dont' know. Doesn't really feel like it, but thanks :)
-Li
Posted by Jost on September 30, 2006, at 23:07:11
In reply to 10 things to be proud of myself for, posted by Lindenblüte on September 28, 2006, at 9:07:49
Well, as long as there's some chocolate involved.... :)
Seriously, sounds like you've made a lot of great progress lately.
Crisis, as I believe they like to say (I heard Condi Rice say it recently, too) means both, risk and whatever-- opportunity.
Yuk.
But anyway, I Ching aside, it sounds as if things are changing for you, which is terrific.
Jost
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 1, 2006, at 9:55:01
In reply to 10 things to be proud of myself for, posted by Lindenblüte on September 28, 2006, at 9:07:49
10 things
10. my hair is okay today
9. i didn't get uncivil on babble-chat last night.
8. i woke up this morning with some pep (since evaporated, but hey...)
7. i have friends who know my good stuff AND my bad stuff and still like me just fine
6. 36 hours with nary an SI incident. cuticles are looking very much improved
5. i can do it.
4. it's going to be okay.
3. my place is scary messy right now, but i'm going to clean it up before desparate housewives. it will only take an hour. the mess is just dirty dishes and take out the garbage
2. i wrote my pdoc an email
1. i haven't sent it yet. my prefrontal cortex said "inhibit! wait!" and i listened to it, rather than acting impulsively
0. felt like a bug in a trap yesterday night, but i kept my wits about me, first distanced myself from the heated situation, then came back, apologized and calmly told what was bothering me so much. went to bed without incident.-Li. having a bit of the old brain funk. oh well. if I'm only 120 IQ today, the world is not going to fall down around me...
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 1, 2006, at 13:09:54
In reply to 10 new things to be proud of myself for, posted by Lindenblüte on October 1, 2006, at 9:55:01
> 9. i didn't get uncivil on babble-chat last night.
That's good to hear, I'm sorry if I was uncivil myself...
Bob
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 1, 2006, at 17:56:15
In reply to Re: babble-chat last night » Lindenblüte, posted by Dr. Bob on October 1, 2006, at 13:09:54
> > 9. i didn't get uncivil on babble-chat last night.
>
> That's good to hear, I'm sorry if I was uncivil myself...
>
> BobDr. Bob, I accept your apology. It means a lot to me. I don't think that particular experiment went so well. I just wanted to hang out, distraction. Well, at some point, I felt like there was no place where I was welcome. I know I was being pretty sensitive, but that's how I am sometimes. I'm only a human being. I can tolerate being ignored, but I cannot tolerate when someone makes me feel bad just for being somewhere where I was trying to escape something worse.
I also find it telling that you signed your apology "Bob". What bothered me most was that I couldn't tell where the Dr. Bob Administrator boundary ended and where the Bob Person/ friend/pdoc/ T/counsellor boundary began. The best of both worlds needs to take that boundary into account. Rather than providing onlyt Admin support, I believe you were also providing babble-buddy support. Maybe even T/counsellor-style support? But I didn't feel welcome to participate in that particular discussion.
It's tempting to want a pdoc/counsellor/T on call 24/7. Particularly those of us who are insecure or unstable (me). Insofar as Bob-person maintains or wishes to maintain a private correspondence with somebody, it should be within the bounds of a clinical relationship, or a friendship. Neither is your role here.
I often feel sorry for you. I bet there are many moments when you wish you could join in the fun and games, or lend a helping hand. But that's not your role here. The moment when you begin to offer advice and support is the moment when you become a person (who also happens to be pdoc/T/counsellor [sorry- don't know your professional activities!]). For me to perceive the slightest rejection from a pdoc/counsellor/T is really hurtful, whereas to perceive rejection from an ordinary babbler or an Administrator is much easier to tolerate.
This may be an issue unique to me, but it's really important. If you wanna be a babble-chatter, go for it. But be prepared for everyone to want you to act as a pdoc/T, rather than just an ordinary babbler. While I would enjoy getting to know Bob better as a person, I'd need a clear boundary about where the Bob-person boundary ends, and where the Dr. Bob-pdoc-counsellor-T boundary begins. So far- unclear. nebullous. disruptive and disturbing.
And I apologize for being disruptive and disturbing. I'm not sure what's expected of me in the land of babble-chat. I'm still trying to figure it out.
and I say hi to nice babblers who kept me out of trouble last night (((((((babble-chatters))))))))
-Li
Posted by alexandra_k on October 2, 2006, at 0:35:21
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Lindenblüte, posted by Jost on September 30, 2006, at 23:07:11
I haven't done a 10 in a while...
1. For making more of an effort to socialise.
2. For getting better at not giving myself a hard time when I make social blunders.
3. For making a decision to persist with my t and try and meet her halfway.
4. For getting into my work today.
5. For having terrific Babble friends.
6. For being kind to people (sometimes) and for trying to work on that.
7. For my trying to be a nice person.
8. For finding the courage to change my thesis topic to something I'm interested in.
9. For finding the courage to ask a question in a seminar (a while ago now, but I'm still proud of myself).
10. For getting up at a reasonable hour this morning.
I'm sorry for my part in your upset. I know that people mostly go to chat to have a distracting chat. Sometimes people go to chat because they want to talk through problems, though, and sometimes those problems do involve things that are happening on Babble. I've had some of those discussions with Dinah at times, and people have found them to be heated, even though both Dinah and myself didn't see them that way.I was pretty unhappy about this restricted chat room. I wanted to talk about that. I appreciate that others were feeling upset about the discussion being heated. I guess that is something that is kinda nice about the 2 chat rooms. People can have different kinds of discussion in different rooms now. That is why other people moved to the other room. So people could have the distraction chat if they wanted to do that. We were discussing the new closed chat room. I didn't think anybody else was interested in having a fairly heated discussion about that.
I know you weren't there... But I assure you Bob wasn't providing me with 'Babble buddy support'. We were discussing the restricted room, and the moderator and deputies / poster divide more generally. If other people had wanted to join in what became a heated discussion about the restricted room and / or the moderator and deputies / poster divide more generally then they could have joined in. I got the impression, though, that people were upset about going to chat for distraction and finding heated argument. And that people were upset that they weren't able to divert us into having a more general 'Babble buddy support' kind of chat. So... People were having the latter kind of distracting chat in the other open room. That was my understanding anyway.
Anyway... Hope you are doing okay today.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 2, 2006, at 0:36:58
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Jost, posted by alexandra_k on October 2, 2006, at 0:35:21
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 2, 2006, at 8:22:47
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Jost, posted by alexandra_k on October 2, 2006, at 0:35:21
> I haven't done a 10 in a while...
>
> 1. For making more of an effort to socialise.
> 2. For getting better at not giving myself a hard time when I make social blunders.
> 3. For making a decision to persist with my t and try and meet her halfway.
> 4. For getting into my work today.
> 5. For having terrific Babble friends.
> 6. For being kind to people (sometimes) and for trying to work on that.
> 7. For my trying to be a nice person.
> 8. For finding the courage to change my thesis topic to something I'm interested in.
> 9. For finding the courage to ask a question in a seminar (a while ago now, but I'm still proud of myself).
> 10. For getting up at a reasonable hour this morning.WOW ALEX! Those are AWESOME! Actually, my favorite is # 8. I am not sure that I would ever have the courage to change topics midway through my education. I guess I like mine enough, but I certainly don't feel like it's a major part of my identity or something. Just feels like another project I signed up to do. ho hum.
> I'm sorry for my part in your upset. I know that people mostly go to chat to have a distracting chat. Sometimes people go to chat because they want to talk through problems, though, and sometimes those problems do involve things that are happening on Babble.
Okay. I understand more of where you're coming from. And you have already apologized to me, and I have no hard feelings. Thank you.
> I was pretty unhappy about this restricted chat room. I wanted to talk about that. I appreciate that others were feeling upset about the discussion being heated. I guess that is something that is kinda nice about the 2 chat rooms. People can have different kinds of discussion in different rooms now. That is why other people moved to the other room.
I think it would have been more appropriate to "invite" someone to participate in a pre-existing heated discussion. Ask for their opinions, or apologize that the topic that is already established may be unsuitable for all ears. Or at least acknowledge that they may want to stay and read and remain in the background for a bit until they can figure out whether this is a topic that interest them.
What bothered me so much was that when I asked if I was interrupting or getting into the middle of something simply by moving to another room, it was affirmed (both times!). Ouch. Not just by you, either, but by Dr. Bob. Simply the act of moving to a particular room was enough to cause a "freeze" in whatever discussion had been going on. Like I was an eavesdropper. I could have been a participant. But I didn't feel that I was treated as such.
> I know you weren't there... But I assure you Bob wasn't providing me with 'Babble buddy support'. We were discussing the restricted room, and the moderator and deputies / poster divide more generally. If other people had wanted to join in what became a heated discussion about the restricted room and / or the moderator and deputies / poster divide more generally then they could have joined in. I got the impression, though, that people were upset about going to chat for distraction and finding heated argument.
I can get excited and distracted by heated arguments too, but only if my voice is taken seriously. Again- these are MY issues! they are not things that you caused or anything like that! I get WAY too sensitive, and so it was on Saturday night :'( That's life.
Anyways, I'm glad that I understand more of what was happening. Without such information, my mind is likely to interpret any slight nuanced event as indication of the worst possible scenario. So- thank you for putting my mind at ease, and I look forward to having a lovely heated discussion with you in Chat Room some day when I'm feeling up for a little verbal sparring :) Again, apologies for projecting my own personal issues onto your behavior, and triple apologies if I caused you any distress however tiny. I really value your mind, and your way of thinking. You have been really supportive of me in the past, and I appreciate that SO much. I think you are very special, and I would hate to have any kind of tension with you.
-Li
Posted by Deneb on October 2, 2006, at 17:47:55
In reply to Re: babble-chat last night » Dr. Bob, posted by Lindenblüte on October 1, 2006, at 17:56:15
> And I apologize for being disruptive and disturbing. I'm not sure what's expected of me in the land of babble-chat. I'm still trying to figure it out.
There's no need to apologize Li. ((((((((((((Li))))))))))))
I didn't find you disruptive or disturbing. You were just upset and we all get that way sometimes.
I was really upset in chat too, I don't think it was because I was jealous of Dr. Bob talking with Alex. I'm happy if Dr. Bob talks more than usual, not only to me, but other people too. I thought maybe I was jealous at first because I didn't really know why I was so upset. I think the reason was really simple. I saw Bob in chat and I wanted to keep him company. I love Bob and like being around him, but I couldn't be around Bob, so I was upset.
It's sort of like Bob was my security blanket. Someone took it away from me so I got upset. I knew Dr. Bob wasn't trying to hurt us, he just wanted to have a private conversation. It's sort of like when the security blanket is being washed. It wasn't taken away to hurt me, but it still hurt to not have it.
I think Dr. Bob left his clone in the room so I wouldn't be as upset. He wrote: "Here, sort of". It was a comforting until I found out he wasn't there at all. It's ok as long as I think there is a possibility of him being there, but I knew he was in the other room so I didn't feel any "Bob comfort".
I think that is why Babble is comforting to me. There is always the possibility that Bob is around and that comforts me. That plus all the wonderful Babblers of course. :-)
Sort of crazy, but what can you do about it? LOL
Deneb*
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 7:27:45
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » alexandra_k, posted by Lindenblüte on October 2, 2006, at 8:22:47
> I am not sure that I would ever have the courage to change topics midway through my education. I guess I like mine enough, but I certainly don't feel like it's a major part of my identity or something. Just feels like another project I signed up to do. ho hum.
I guess it is a bit different when lab work is a part of what you are doing. You kind of need to pick a manageable project and get supervisor etc interested. Then do ethical approval etc etc so I guess it is much harder to change your topic or project part way. I've been doing my thesis for around... 6 months. Lots of people change their mind in the first year, so I'm allowed to change it at this point that is fairly standard :-) I think it is made a lot easier by not having to do labs and stuff... Though that being said I'm going to see about going to a lab somewhere for a month or a few months... so I can learn more about cog psych of schizophrenia and the like :-)
> I think it would have been more appropriate to "invite" someone to participate in a pre-existing heated discussion.The discussion started with people present and then a few people were feeling upset about the discussion becoming heated so they chose to move to a different room to have a more social chat.
> What bothered me so much was that when I asked if I was interrupting or getting into the middle of something simply by moving to another room, it was affirmed (both times!). Ouch.
I'm sorry it hurt. But... That is the danger in asking a question sometimes... I thought... That you weren't so interested in figuring out what was being discussed and joining in as you were trying to divert the discussion into a light social chat. That is why I was quiet. That was why people chose to leave to go to the other room and chat; because people were feeling upset about the conversation. I didn't want to upset you.
What was worse saying 'yes' when people ask if they are interrupting a conversation or...
Continuing on with a heated discussion...I mean... Which is the least hurtful?
I don't know.
I appreciate some people may have preferred us to not have had that conversation. I don't know what to say in response to that. I've never been much of a person to shut up about something when asked. Especially when people don't have to read and when there are other rooms to chat in.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 7:29:04
In reply to Re: babble-chat last night » Lindenblüte, posted by Deneb on October 2, 2006, at 17:47:55
(((Deneb)))
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 8:16:31
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Lindenblüte, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 7:27:45
To be fair.....
No one else went to another room to avoid the conversation and start a social chat at that point. In fact, at least two people in that room were clear that they weren't upset at the content. Something like that happened earlier, perhaps. But not at that point. We were all in the same room we were in immediately before two participants left, as I recall, because I recall being somewhat... surprised.
However, it's all water under the bridge. There may be still a few tender feelings left, including on my part, but everyone's trying to get over them, I think.
Yes, I felt hurt as well. Particularly since I was an active participant in the discussion. However, I did understand the reasons, so I tried not to let it bother me. I tried hard. I tried so hard, that I very nearly succeeded.
I'll likely be over it very soon indeed. Obviously I'm not quite yet. No, definitely I'm not yet. I was advocating for those I knew were more upset than I was, and neglected to mention that I was upset as well.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 10:49:39
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 8:16:31
You do know what it was about though, don't you Dinah?
We have had lots and lots and lots (and lots) of heated discussion over on admin about small boards. You were very much opposed to the notion. I thought that it could be a good idea (under certain conditions). Since our debates... While I was blocked at some point or other... I started reading the archives and I started to understand a bit more about the context in which they were first suggested and I started reading about the debate that came up after they were first suggested.
Somewhere along the way... I came around to your way of thinking about them.
And now Bob has set up an exclusive chat room. And I'll admit that I really did think that you would be as vehemently opposed to the idea of an exclusive chat room as you were vehemently opposed to small boards.
But to my surprise... You weren't. You just seemed to lament his having told the rest of us by having a link to the exclusive room where it says something like 'this chat room is reserved for Dr Bob and the deputies'.
BAM! NO ENTRY!
How is this different Dinah?
I was upset, yeah. You know what I thought about that... I'll admit that I got to thinking... Dinah's personal principles about exclusiveness on the one hand... A private chat room to talk to Bob on the other hand... And I was really very surprised. And upset. And hurt, yeah.
So... Having a pretty heated argument about private chat rooms and then someone comes along and asks 'am I interrupting something'... And the answer is... 'yeah. kinda'. Bob said to Deneb that he was having a sort of private conversation right now. That got to me. That really got to me. Because... How much am I doing what I thought you were doing? How much am I saying 'private stuff is bad' yet being willing to partake in it? So I went to rejoin people about then...
I had to think... (I'm sorry if this is a bit hurtful, I'm really trying to be civil AND honest)... I had to think... But I concluded that no you aren't a hypocrite.
But how about me? Am I a hypocrite?
So... I've been thinking about private (or sort of private) conversations. About how... Well...
Lets suppose you are having a chat with someone and they are really upset and they are talking to you about SA or SI or something like that. Then someone comes along... Given that we now have two chat rooms... Especially given that there ARE people in another chat room having a supportive chat... If someone entered the room part way through and was likely to be triggered by the conversation then do you think it would be appropriate to say: 'yeah you kind of are interrupting but there are people in the other room having a supportive chat'? How about if the other person wasn't likely to be triggered but if the conversation was at a point where the person was disclosing sensitive information or something? Would it be appropriate to say 'yeah you kind of are interrupting but there are people in the other room having a supportive chat'?
Before... I would have said that that was rude.
But now...
(Trying not to be a hypocrite you see)
I'm wondering what the kindest strategy really is.
Because one could just say nothing. But then I guess the newcomer is likely to feel the tension in the atmosphere. Is likely to hang around feeling... Unwanted. I'm wondering if that would be worse... If you try and divert the conversation into a light hearted social chat then how is the person who is disclosing sensitive / triggering material likely to feel? What would be worse? Hard decisions... I don't know.
I'm sure you will get the opportunity to go off at Bob about it in your private chat.
But now... I'm having trouble going off about the private chat over at admin. Because I don't want to be a hypocrite you see.
But I guess I could do that... Just go off anyway.
The difference...
Between small boards
Between private chat rooms
Between private (or semi private) conversations
The differences come and go for me
And right now I'm not sure what to thinkBut I'm not as f*cking mad at either you or Bob as I was before...
And I am wondering about the virtues of upfront honesty and about how that might save more hurts in the long run...
I don't know.
Wanna argue about exclusive chats?
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 13:08:15
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 10:49:39
Insofar as chatroom babble obeys some of the same basic principles as message board babble does:
If there is a heated/triggering/sensitive discussion going on, the people involved in it have to be prepared for the intrusion of other people. In fact, they should expect it, and plan accordingly (i.e. don't put up your address where others might find it, even if it's only for a minute or so!) [analagous to posting sensitive info on boards]
And the people who go into a preestablished chat have to expect that the topic may be upsetting/triggering/unpleasant/irrelevant/boring and be prepared to make a graceful exit if necessary. [analagous to being selective about which posts to read]
I don't see how a support website can ever justify excluding any responsible, civil member of the community from reading, or commenting on a discussion, even if it is already in progress. [the analogy here would be if I see a longish thread that is a dialogue between two people, and I interupt it to post something. If it's in the spirit of support and it's civil, I think it would be [extremely] hurtful for someone to imply that my post was irrelevant or intrusive. Acknowledge it/don't acknowledge it- fine, ignore it. I cannot think of an alternative that wouldn't be hurtful.
And, I have learned a valuable lesson- Don't ask a question when I'm not prepared to deal with the answer.
Still learning. every day a little wiser. every yesterday, a little stupider...
-Li
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 14:53:45
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 10:49:39
If you don't see how it's different, Alex, I can't explain it.
You say you aren't calling me a hypocrite, but how is what you're saying different than calling me a hypocrite?
No, I don't want to argue about exclusive chats with you, Alex.
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 15:00:52
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » alexandra_k, posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 13:08:15
I agree with you, Li. And please know that you will never ever be considered an intrusion into any chat I'm having, no matter the topic or intensity. :)
I am always happy to see you enter a room.
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 15:13:21
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Lindenblüte, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 15:00:52
> I agree with you, Li. And please know that you will never ever be considered an intrusion into any chat I'm having, no matter the topic or intensity. :)
>
> I am always happy to see you enter a room.Thank you Dinah, I'm glad to hear that. I get kind of insecure and clingy sometimes :o(
I'm happy to see you enter a room too :) and the more the merrier. You know me! I like a party with all kinds of people. Even deputies or Dr. Bob... ;o)
Life is like a boite of joujoux, you never know whatcher gonna get!
-Li
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 16:22:09
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Dinah, posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 15:13:21
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 16:23:55
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Dinah, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 10:49:39
And of course it goes without saying that I'm also always happy to see your name, and in fact sometimes stop by when I know I haven't got the time, just because I see you're around.
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 16:37:47
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 16:23:55
10. mayhem and wanton destruction all around me. large scale. yet, few triggering reactions
9. concentrated during a colleague's presentation. asked a good question
8. making progress with T
7. have finally accepted that I do not LIKE any of starbuck's non-frozen offerings. Will NEVER expect greatness from a hot starbucks cup again.
6. Resisted paying 6 dollars to connect to the internet at starbucks
5. said good morning and thank you to several people while looking them in the eye
4. considering (kinda) going to the doctor for chest phlegm and wheezing that won't quit after 7 days now.
3. admitted to T that I have a really hard time reaching out for help. Even when it is offered.
2. wrote a good to-do list today, but haven't done much of it, but that's okay. it's sunny outside. I'm going home anyways.
1. I just gave a coworker a bunch of suggestions for his insomnia (I refrained from mentioning, um, self-gratification-- which apparently can be very effective!) magnesium, quiet activities, hot bath, no caffeine, exercise, seeing a doctor, etc etc... poor thing :(
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 16:53:17
In reply to Ten Things to be Proud of Myself: Tuesday, posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 16:37:47
> 5. said good morning and thank you to several people while looking them in the eye
That one especially impresses me. :)
I've never figured out how to look anyone in the eye. Well, maybe one eye, but both together at the same time? I just can't do it.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 18:01:01
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » alexandra_k, posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 13:08:15
> If there is a heated/triggering/sensitive discussion going on, the people involved in it have to be prepared for the intrusion of other people. In fact, they should expect it, and plan accordingly (i.e. don't put up your address where others might find it, even if it's only for a minute or so!) [analagous to posting sensitive info on boards]
Thats why I suggested room 2 become a 'regular' room for triggering discussions. That way people from room 1 should have the perogative to ask if people can take it to room 2 too. I've been asked to shut up about a particular topic in chat on a number of occasions. I tell people to put me on ignore. But it can be hard to follow the conversations when there are multiple conversations going on...
> And the people who go into a preestablished chat have to expect that the topic may be upsetting/triggering/unpleasant/irrelevant/boring and be prepared to make a graceful exit if necessary. [analagous to being selective about which posts to read]Sure. And I really do think that posters in room 2 should also be able to say if they are having a sort of private conversation. I know it will hurt a little :-( But I really do think it would save hurt in the long run. It should be used really sensitively though, I agree.
> I don't see how a support website can ever justify excluding any responsible, civil member of the community from reading, or commenting on a discussion, even if it is already in progress.Well... Just try getting into 'restricted' chat... Feel excluded there?
> [the analogy here would be if I see a longish thread that is a dialogue between two people, and I interupt it to post something. If it's in the spirit of support and it's civil, I think it would be [extremely] hurtful for someone to imply that my post was irrelevant or intrusive. Acknowledge it/don't acknowledge it- fine, ignore it. I cannot think of an alternative that wouldn't be hurtful.
With posts I really do think there is a very important disanalogy... A new poster can read the whole thread to see where the conversation is up to and thus they can join in. Chat is in close to real time, however. It could take a while to rehash things so the other person knows what is going on...
> And, I have learned a valuable lesson- Don't ask a question when I'm not prepared to deal with the answer.Yes. But that being said... I think I would have felt hurt too, so I really do understand.
And like I said... I'm sorry for my part in your hurt.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2006, at 18:04:45
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2006, at 14:53:45
> If you don't see how it's different, Alex, I can't explain it.
I don't remember your reasons. I can't remember them. I don't understand :-( I hate it when I can't understand :-(
> You say you aren't calling me a hypocrite, but how is what you're saying different than calling me a hypocrite?
I'm trying Dinah. I'm trying my best. I'm really really trying. I'm sorry. I don't understand and I don't know... How to see it differently.
> No, I don't want to argue about exclusive chats with you, Alex.
But no doubt...
We will.I go into chat when I see you there too. Even if I really really shouldn't. I'm sorry if I was uncivil to you :-( Felt like a shock. I really thought you were gonna be oh so pissed... And there you were kind of mildly indignant. I don't understand :-(
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2006, at 0:50:20
In reply to Re: babble-chat last night » Dr. Bob, posted by Lindenblüte on October 1, 2006, at 17:56:15
> What bothered me most was that I couldn't tell where the Dr. Bob Administrator boundary ended and where the Bob Person/ friend/pdoc/ T/counsellor boundary began.
Sorry, I wasn't as careful about that as I should've been.
Bob
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 28, 2006, at 10:15:18
In reply to Re: babble-chat many nights ago » Lindenblüte, posted by Dr. Bob on October 28, 2006, at 0:50:20
> > What bothered me most was that I couldn't tell where the Dr. Bob Administrator boundary ended and where the Bob Person/ friend/pdoc/ T/counsellor boundary began.
>
> Sorry, I wasn't as careful about that as I should've been.
>
> BobThank you for apologizing. That means a lot to me.
-Li
maybe someday I go to a psycho-babble real-life get-together and I can meet the Dr. Bob person, but on these vanilla pages, I really appreciate your hands-off approach. I never realize how important "boundaries" or "expectations" are to me until they're crossed.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.