Posted by Lindenblüte on October 2, 2006, at 8:22:47
In reply to Re: 10 things to be proud of myself for » Jost, posted by alexandra_k on October 2, 2006, at 0:35:21
> I haven't done a 10 in a while...
>
> 1. For making more of an effort to socialise.
> 2. For getting better at not giving myself a hard time when I make social blunders.
> 3. For making a decision to persist with my t and try and meet her halfway.
> 4. For getting into my work today.
> 5. For having terrific Babble friends.
> 6. For being kind to people (sometimes) and for trying to work on that.
> 7. For my trying to be a nice person.
> 8. For finding the courage to change my thesis topic to something I'm interested in.
> 9. For finding the courage to ask a question in a seminar (a while ago now, but I'm still proud of myself).
> 10. For getting up at a reasonable hour this morning.WOW ALEX! Those are AWESOME! Actually, my favorite is # 8. I am not sure that I would ever have the courage to change topics midway through my education. I guess I like mine enough, but I certainly don't feel like it's a major part of my identity or something. Just feels like another project I signed up to do. ho hum.
> I'm sorry for my part in your upset. I know that people mostly go to chat to have a distracting chat. Sometimes people go to chat because they want to talk through problems, though, and sometimes those problems do involve things that are happening on Babble.
Okay. I understand more of where you're coming from. And you have already apologized to me, and I have no hard feelings. Thank you.
> I was pretty unhappy about this restricted chat room. I wanted to talk about that. I appreciate that others were feeling upset about the discussion being heated. I guess that is something that is kinda nice about the 2 chat rooms. People can have different kinds of discussion in different rooms now. That is why other people moved to the other room.
I think it would have been more appropriate to "invite" someone to participate in a pre-existing heated discussion. Ask for their opinions, or apologize that the topic that is already established may be unsuitable for all ears. Or at least acknowledge that they may want to stay and read and remain in the background for a bit until they can figure out whether this is a topic that interest them.
What bothered me so much was that when I asked if I was interrupting or getting into the middle of something simply by moving to another room, it was affirmed (both times!). Ouch. Not just by you, either, but by Dr. Bob. Simply the act of moving to a particular room was enough to cause a "freeze" in whatever discussion had been going on. Like I was an eavesdropper. I could have been a participant. But I didn't feel that I was treated as such.
> I know you weren't there... But I assure you Bob wasn't providing me with 'Babble buddy support'. We were discussing the restricted room, and the moderator and deputies / poster divide more generally. If other people had wanted to join in what became a heated discussion about the restricted room and / or the moderator and deputies / poster divide more generally then they could have joined in. I got the impression, though, that people were upset about going to chat for distraction and finding heated argument.
I can get excited and distracted by heated arguments too, but only if my voice is taken seriously. Again- these are MY issues! they are not things that you caused or anything like that! I get WAY too sensitive, and so it was on Saturday night :'( That's life.
Anyways, I'm glad that I understand more of what was happening. Without such information, my mind is likely to interpret any slight nuanced event as indication of the worst possible scenario. So- thank you for putting my mind at ease, and I look forward to having a lovely heated discussion with you in Chat Room some day when I'm feeling up for a little verbal sparring :) Again, apologies for projecting my own personal issues onto your behavior, and triple apologies if I caused you any distress however tiny. I really value your mind, and your way of thinking. You have been really supportive of me in the past, and I appreciate that SO much. I think you are very special, and I would hate to have any kind of tension with you.
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:689892
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060921/msgs/691116.html