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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on September 22, 2006, at 23:02:23
The week started in the doctor's office, presenting my complaints having to do with my perimenopause experience. It's getting more uncomfortable and migraine filled every month, so I was looking for a more appropriate treatment to manage my symtoms. So I have a new prescription, and it gave me migraines. This led to sleep of worse and worse quality, until 2 nights ago, when I had no sleep at all. I tried all the sleep aids I could, but not all at once as I thought that might be a bad idea.
By the time it got to 3:30 am, I took 2 trazodone and was wiped out until 2pm. Woke up with the same unmovable migraine, resistant to any remedies. Spent that day with various migraine medications, meditations, cool packs, hot packs, silence, soothing music, tepid baths...
Was able to sleep last night with 2 trazodone only. It leaves me in a severe fog, unable to artulate my thoughts clearly, for hours and hours. Today, I've had 8 hours of sleep from the night before, and then another 2 hours halfway through the morning. The rest of the afternoon I felt awake alert and headache free.
I have a startling after-effect from this. Today I find myself feeling very low and worthless. I tried to compose this post 4 times and deleted it before I posted it. I feel that lately my posts have been as well intended as ever, but communicated really poorly. Unable to find the right way to express myself.
This doesn't feel like it will pass soon. I think the pain and frustration of this week has triggered this episode of beating myself up with a big stupid and hateful stick.
Posted by Racer on September 23, 2006, at 2:08:16
In reply to What a weird and uncomfortable week., posted by ClearSkies on September 22, 2006, at 23:02:23
Sweetheart, you are a fine communicator. Maybe the problem is that you're usually so far and away better than half the world that when you're only above average it seems subpar? Sounds to me, actually, as though you're -- ugh, only way I can say it is "sucking back," which probably doesn't mean much to anyone else... (Pfinstegg would know. And probably be able to tell me what I mean...)
Lemme try... OK, maybe you're feeling yucky, so you're more self conscious, and less interactive? That does it for me...
Sorry -- speaking of communication issues tonight...
Posted by Jost on September 23, 2006, at 12:47:38
In reply to Step away from that stick! » ClearSkies, posted by Racer on September 23, 2006, at 2:08:16
You're doing great-- you just don't know how many times I'm mishit the key, called people the wrong name, written nonsense, blathered on and on, and generally made an idiot of myself.
Luckily there's the delete key.
The saving grace of the keyboard. My favorite key. {{{{Delete}}}}
It feels worst from inside-- looking from the outside: it doesn't come through at all.
Jost
Posted by Phillipa on September 23, 2006, at 22:03:52
In reply to Re: Step away from that stick! Clearskies, posted by Jost on September 23, 2006, at 12:47:38
Clear Skies I never would have guessed. Love Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on September 24, 2006, at 13:43:52
In reply to Re: Step away from that stick! Clearskies, posted by Phillipa on September 23, 2006, at 22:03:52
> Clear Skies I never would have guessed. Love Phillipa
What? That I feel so desperately bad about myself? This is a familiar feeling for me. I hadn't quite gotten to the point of not loathing myself as much, but at the bottom, I really feel useless, lazy, and unable to function.Sleep continues to be an issue. I'm afraid if I go back to my Gyn she'll disregard my complaints. When I went in to see her a few weeks ago, I told her that I was (already) having problems getting to sleep, and she told me then that this was unrelated to any hormonal imbalances.
Instead I'm going to call my pdoc and see if I can get in on a cancellation. What I scrounged from my leftovers in my medicine cabinet that finally worked was 10mg of Ambien and .5mg of Xanax. I rather doubt that she'll prescribe these for me again. But my mind races so quickly and persistently that I despair that I'll every be able to get a good night's sleep again.
Still glum and brooding,
CS
Posted by Jost on September 24, 2006, at 14:37:27
In reply to Re: Step away from that stick! Clearskies » Phillipa, posted by ClearSkies on September 24, 2006, at 13:43:52
I use that combination often. Really works well.
Maybe she will prescribe it. Sleep is crucial-- doesn't matter what caused the lack of it.
Jost
Posted by dreamboat_annie on September 24, 2006, at 15:40:26
In reply to What a weird and uncomfortable week., posted by ClearSkies on September 22, 2006, at 23:02:23
Oh, that sounds just awful!! If you don't mind my asking, what did your gyn give you for your peri symptoms? You shouldn't be beating yourself up, clearskies. You weren't to know that the medication your gyn gave you would worsen your migraines and cause such severe insomnia. And, as for the trazadone, yes it's true that it knocks you out, but I'm like you, it left me hung over for the better of the next day the two times I took it, and I started to feel depressed. You know, I never thought when I was in my early 30s that perimenopause would wreak such havoc on my system. But, between the nightsweats, heart palps, insomnia, swollen boobs and irregular cycles, it has been sucking the life out of me, so I understand how one can start to get down on oneself.
I wanted to tell you that I took my first dose of Estrace (bio-identical estrogen) yesterday, and, believe it not, I could feel a difference, especially in my mood and outlook. And, the pre-mentrual headache I have had for weeks now (yes, weeks since I have been cycling every two weeks almost consistently) is gone. I'm hoping that it continues to help me, although I am dreading adding in the progesterone.
Take care, clearskies, I hope you find some relief soon.
Posted by ClearSkies on September 24, 2006, at 19:49:59
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week. » ClearSkies, posted by dreamboat_annie on September 24, 2006, at 15:40:26
> Oh, that sounds just awful!! If you don't mind my asking, what did your gyn give you for your peri symptoms?
We have tried many different birth control pills and patches. I'd been on this last one (Lo-Ovral) for over a year, and started having severe hot flashes, 3 week long periods, and more migraines than ever. So now I'm on FemHRT.
> You shouldn't be beating yourself up, clearskies. You weren't to know that the medication your gyn gave you would worsen your migraines and cause such severe insomnia. And, as for the trazadone, yes it's true that it knocks you out, but I'm like you, it left me hung over for the better of the next day the two times I took it, and I started to feel depressed.
Yes, that's what happens to me too with Trazodone. I was just so desperate for sleep, but what a price.
> You know, I never thought when I was in my early 30s that perimenopause would wreak such havoc on my system. But, between the nightsweats, heart palps, insomnia, swollen boobs and irregular cycles, it has been sucking the life out of me, so I understand how one can start to get down on oneself.
>
> I wanted to tell you that I took my first dose of Estrace (bio-identical estrogen) yesterday, and, believe it not, I could feel a difference, especially in my mood and outlook. And, the pre-mentrual headache I have had for weeks now (yes, weeks since I have been cycling every two weeks almost consistently) is gone. I'm hoping that it continues to help me, although I am dreading adding in the progesterone.
>
> Take care, clearskies, I hope you find some relief soon.Thanks, I hope so too. I got my mom to finally admit that her hysterectomy was due to the same symptoms as I have. She wasn't prepared to tell me anything, until I pressed it on her. She was a few years younger than I when she had the procedure. I am ready to feel better.
CS
Posted by dreamboat_annie on September 24, 2006, at 20:09:51
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week. » dreamboat_annie, posted by ClearSkies on September 24, 2006, at 19:49:59
Hi,
My mom and her mom were the same, and both had to have a hysterectomy in their early 40s. My paternal grandmother was through menopause by the time she was my age, so I'm not surprised that I am going through this now. It just stinks. Have you thought of asking your doctor to take you off the birth control pill and let you try low dose bioidentical hormones. I know every woman's experience is different, but from what I have been reading, many seem to experience worse peri symptoms while on bc pills, and the pill doesn't seem to help the hot flashes or night sweats. And, to top it off, bc pills contain 4 times as much hormones as hrt. There is research out there to support a doctor trying a course of bio-identicals in women with mood disorders that don't completely respond to medication (even if the studies are small ones, they were encouraging, including 80% remission in depressive symptoms).
I got to the point where I was tired of feeling sick and tired and waking up soaking wet 3 or 4 times a night, and went to my doctor armed with a number of good pieces of information and convinced him to let me try the bio-identicals. It really wasn't a hard sell because he runs a women's clinic and specializes in hormonal issues (PMS in particular). So, I will see how things go, but, from my experience, sometimes we just have to put our foot down and say this is what I want.
Anyway, I don't mean to sound like a loud-mouth schmuck. It just burns my butt to see women having to suffer through this horrible period in our lives when there is help out there, and better help than previously was available. So, sorry for spouting off.
Hope things start to look up for you soon. Be well.
Posted by Phillipa on September 24, 2006, at 20:26:32
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week. » dreamboat_annie, posted by ClearSkies on September 24, 2006, at 19:49:59
Clear Skies I went through the same thing with OB-GYN's. I was doing fine they insisted on pill. Couldn't tolerate, tried patches, ended up on bioidentical hormones no side effects at all. Then they wouldn't test your hormone levels so I had the standard dose. Now my next door neighbor says they will test each hormone and then prescribe to a compounding pharmacy a rx just for your body. I'm due for a mammogram last one biopsy for calcification and a pap. I'm trying to work up the courage for yet another doc. But I won't go unless they test my hormones. If they do it I want it done. Love Phillipa
Posted by muffled on September 24, 2006, at 20:31:40
In reply to What a weird and uncomfortable week., posted by ClearSkies on September 22, 2006, at 23:02:23
Posted by dreamboat_annie on September 24, 2006, at 20:41:48
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week. » ClearSkies, posted by Phillipa on September 24, 2006, at 20:26:32
Hi Phillipa,
Are you still on the bio-identicals? If not, why did you stop (if you don't mind my asking)? My doctor prescribed based on my symptoms and my age. Perimenopause starts about 10 years before actual menopause, which, on average, occurs in most women in their early 50s. My doctor said the bloodtests are not the most accurate, unless you are already in full menopause, since during peri the hormones fluctuate so much and the bloodtests are only a snapshot of a particular point in time. So, your estrogen could be in the normal range when the bloodtest was done, but 2 hours later plummet. Same with the LH and FSH during the peri stage. There comes a point in our lives when we have to assert ourselves, and peri and meno are probably those points. I know I'm not going to sit idly by and watch my life deteriorate. I've had enough of doctors who just pat you on the head and offer up another AD or anti-anxiety pill. Oh well, sorry for the rant.
All the best.
> Clear Skies I went through the same thing with OB-GYN's. I was doing fine they insisted on pill. Couldn't tolerate, tried patches, ended up on bioidentical hormones no side effects at all. Then they wouldn't test your hormone levels so I had the standard dose. Now my next door neighbor says they will test each hormone and then prescribe to a compounding pharmacy a rx just for your body. I'm due for a mammogram last one biopsy for calcification and a pap. I'm trying to work up the courage for yet another doc. But I won't go unless they test my hormones. If they do it I want it done. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on September 24, 2006, at 20:51:59
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week. » Phillipa, posted by dreamboat_annie on September 24, 2006, at 20:41:48
I stopped summer before this one. I'm over menopause. I didn't know that about the peri and hormones plummeting. I wonder if now I could get an accurate reading . I'm already 60. So it's been a few years. The doc said cause of the breast cancer scare to stop. Love Phillipa
Posted by Jost on September 24, 2006, at 23:57:21
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week. » ClearSkies, posted by dreamboat_annie on September 24, 2006, at 15:40:26
Actually, trazadone made me depressed, too. I noticed that quite distinctly the times I took it.
I've read that that's not unheard of.
Are you taking any other ADs, by the way? Esp. anything the has strong serotonin effects? If you're at all sensitive to that, you have to be a bit careful with adding other Serotonin drugs like trazadone.
Jost
Posted by Lindenblüte on September 27, 2006, at 8:53:49
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week. » ClearSkies, posted by dreamboat_annie on September 24, 2006, at 15:40:26
Hi ClearSkies,
I suffer from migraine.The day after a big one, particularly one that had an aura (visual and tactile hallucinations/perceptual disturbances) I always feel like my brain is in a funk. Even if I was able to avoid the headache by taking my naproxen during the aura, I still feel very fuzzybrained.
In fact, this feeling is very very similar to how I feel when I'm really depressed. The only difference is that with depression I have many more negative self evaluations too.
Migraine is a pretty significant neurological event. Blood circulation is compromised in parts of your brain responsible for thinking and feeling. This, combined with sleep deficit, hormonal changes and medication side effects is bound to leave you feeling less than 100% well.
Try to remember that you are still you- even when your brain feels like oatmeal, and you lack the self-confidence to do things that you usually find easy. One of your congitive functions that seems to be compromised is the ability to evaluate your own mental performance. Although you complain of having difficulty expressing yourself and writing, I had no problem whatsoever understanding your post.
I had a similar experience. When I was super duper depressed in the spring, I applied for a post-doc position, submitted work to 2 conferences, and applied for a dissertation fellowship. I was accepted for all of these honors but one (a conference rejected my work-- boo hoo!). So, in many cases, my negative self-evaluation was an illusion. Because I felt like crap, I assumed that it was completely obvious in the shoddy quality of my work. On the contrary, my postdoc and fellowship applications were really noticed for the quality of the scholarship, and my advisor has never said that she noticed any decline in the quality of my work, just the speed of my producing it. (I was kind of slow for a couple of months).
It's okay. This is temporary. I'm glad you have a pdoc/doc that you're working with. It sounds really really tough. I hope that you can get a good day in here and there.
Until then, just remember that your brain is a very delicate sensitive mushy thing. Now you know better than to take any cognitive function for granted. When you have a crappy day, just say you're not feeling well. And when you are having a good day, take advantage of it to look around and smell the change of the seasons. Don't feel compelled to use all of your "good days" on work.
(((((((ClearSkies)))))))) I hope that you get stabilized soon. Until then, please be easy on yourself.
-Li
Posted by ClearSkies on September 29, 2006, at 8:24:04
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week., posted by Lindenblüte on September 27, 2006, at 8:53:49
Thanks, Linden for your words. Migraines are so disruptive. I've had them for so long that I try to minimize their effect on me. Many years of being told how much my headaches "ruined everything" for everyone else, so I learned to be quiet and scream only inside my head.
Another trip to the gyn, many healing hugs from her (she's actually one of my favourite, compassionate docs), and I toodled off with 2 news meds. Twice as much estrogen, and a steady dose of progesterone. It will be easier to fine tune these seperately.
I figured out that I must be an optimist at heart, because I truly do expect to feel better soon. Meanwhile, I keep my (aching) head down, hide from the sun like a vampire, and move very slowly.
I appreciate your thoughts when you are having a difficult time yourself; they mean a lot to me.
CS
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