Posted by Lindenblüte on September 27, 2006, at 8:53:49
In reply to Re: What a weird and uncomfortable week. » ClearSkies, posted by dreamboat_annie on September 24, 2006, at 15:40:26
Hi ClearSkies,
I suffer from migraine.The day after a big one, particularly one that had an aura (visual and tactile hallucinations/perceptual disturbances) I always feel like my brain is in a funk. Even if I was able to avoid the headache by taking my naproxen during the aura, I still feel very fuzzybrained.
In fact, this feeling is very very similar to how I feel when I'm really depressed. The only difference is that with depression I have many more negative self evaluations too.
Migraine is a pretty significant neurological event. Blood circulation is compromised in parts of your brain responsible for thinking and feeling. This, combined with sleep deficit, hormonal changes and medication side effects is bound to leave you feeling less than 100% well.
Try to remember that you are still you- even when your brain feels like oatmeal, and you lack the self-confidence to do things that you usually find easy. One of your congitive functions that seems to be compromised is the ability to evaluate your own mental performance. Although you complain of having difficulty expressing yourself and writing, I had no problem whatsoever understanding your post.
I had a similar experience. When I was super duper depressed in the spring, I applied for a post-doc position, submitted work to 2 conferences, and applied for a dissertation fellowship. I was accepted for all of these honors but one (a conference rejected my work-- boo hoo!). So, in many cases, my negative self-evaluation was an illusion. Because I felt like crap, I assumed that it was completely obvious in the shoddy quality of my work. On the contrary, my postdoc and fellowship applications were really noticed for the quality of the scholarship, and my advisor has never said that she noticed any decline in the quality of my work, just the speed of my producing it. (I was kind of slow for a couple of months).
It's okay. This is temporary. I'm glad you have a pdoc/doc that you're working with. It sounds really really tough. I hope that you can get a good day in here and there.
Until then, just remember that your brain is a very delicate sensitive mushy thing. Now you know better than to take any cognitive function for granted. When you have a crappy day, just say you're not feeling well. And when you are having a good day, take advantage of it to look around and smell the change of the seasons. Don't feel compelled to use all of your "good days" on work.
(((((((ClearSkies)))))))) I hope that you get stabilized soon. Until then, please be easy on yourself.
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:688344
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060921/msgs/689562.html