Posted by TexasChic on April 29, 2006, at 16:31:11
In reply to He wrote me back, posted by TexasChic on April 29, 2006, at 7:51:21
Well we've been talking back and forth, but I have no idea if its a good thing or bad thing. Basically, he doesn't believe me about ColdShoulderGirl and BitchyGirl bullying me. He thinks I'm a 'over reacting'. I told him:
"They've done this before, and everyone knows about it (and have told me about it). You don't know how many times I've heard, "They do this all the time, it was A––– last year, you're the one they picked this year, and it'll be someone else next year". They intentionally try to isolate people. Basically they're bullies. I know its hard to believe about L––, I can barely believe it myself and I've witnessed it." But he'll never believe me until he sees it for himself (which they will try to keep from happening).After telling me that it wasn't his idea or plan and he just left it up to them to pass the word along, he then turned around and said don't blame ColdShoulderGirl because she was just an invited guest and had nothing to do with it. I told him that I was confused (I mean, so now who was supposed to have planned the thing?) but I really didn't want to talk about anymore.
Then he said he assumed I wouldn't want to go because she was gonna be there, because he thought I had a 'major problem' with her. I told him:
"As I've said over and over, I don't have a problem with her, she is the one who suddenly stopped talking to me. I have no idea what the reason is, so I basically just try to stay out of the way."He then started comparing it to these other two people at work who are fighting. He said:
"I wouldn't invite C___ bowling, because she hates N___. I'm not choosing N___ over C___. Basically I just didnt want any drama, and as irony would have it, the whole thing created drama."I told him:
"Like I said, I was expecting too much from you. I'm the one who made the drama. That's why I apologized. I know you don't understand - that's okay. Don't worry about it. Just please stop comparing me to C–––– because that's not even remotely the same thing. That was a situation she helped create and I'm in a situation I didn't ask for or want." He apparently didn't get the hint that I got so upset because I like him a little more than a co-worker.He said:
"Seriously, there isn't a conspiracy against you, and the more you over react to this stuff, the more people are going to isolate you."I told him:
"I'm trying my best to ignore the situation, just hanging out with the guys and stuff. But I can't help it if I get upset about something. If the people at work choose to isolate me because of that, there's not a whole lot I can do about it. "He said:
"And I was being completely honest when I told you that there hasn't been any get togethers. So I hope you dont think this is some ongoing thing where we go out every weekend and don't tell you."I told him:
"I believed you when you told me that, but then the thing I was worried about happened. There was something planned that I was left out of because L––– has decided she doesn't like me. That's what happened and there's no way around it. But you know what, I don't even really care anymore. I'm just so tired of the drama. You really have no idea what I've been through with L––– and P–––.Then I said:
"I appreciate you writing back to me, I didn't really think you would. But I'm really sorry now that I started this whole dialogue with you. Please let's just forget about it. You don't owe me explanations for anything."So if anyone has actually read down this far, what do you think? Did I handle it right? Did I sound like a non-crazy person? Was I too harsh? Its really hard when he's basically saying I'm being paraniod and that's the main thing I struggle with. I mean, I have asked myself if this is all in my head, especially since ColdShoulderGirl is especially good at doing things while not incriminating herself. But I just don't think it is.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:635629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060422/msgs/638170.html