Posted by TexasChic on April 26, 2006, at 19:33:44
In reply to Today, posted by TexasChic on April 24, 2006, at 21:36:23
Today I worked up the courage to ask cuteboy if he had been meeting up with coldshouldergirl and friends outside of work. He said no, not at all. I told him they were kind of making it sound like they did. He said, "Oh, to make it sound like you were left out?" I said "Yeah", kind of surprised he figured that out since he seems to be oblivious to the situation most of the time. Then I added "I care alot more about your opinion than their's", which I wasn't really what I meant to say. What I wanted to say was that I could care less about them leaving me out, but it bothered me to think of him hanging out with them. But I realized at the last second that didn't sound so great, so I ended up with the slightly random comment. If nothing else, it was a step toward letting him know how I feel about him.
Anyway, that might not sound very dramatic or anything, but it was a major hurtle for me to ask him something like that (I thought about it all last night). Especially when I really thought the answer would be yes, and then I'd have to explain why I asked and why it bothered me and blah, blah, blah. So I felt pretty proud of myself overall.
To continue with my goal of moving forward, I sent my resume to this place I would really love to work. I had applied before and went through two interviews, but they chose someone else. So when I saw the ad on monster.com I decided to go for it because I might have a good chance. I also picked up some (inexpensive) interviewing clothes after work today just so I'd be prepared. I really need a suit, but I ended up with just some dressy slacks and shirt. They are more like second interview clothes, but its better than anything else I have, which is jeans.
So I'm trying to push myself out of my comfort zone a little at a time. I want to have a social life, friends, dates, activities that include leaving the house, a job with a future! And I know that will never happen unless I make it happen.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:635629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060422/msgs/637323.html