Posted by KaraS on March 6, 2005, at 16:16:29
In reply to Re: Kara, my turn. How you are doing? » KaraS, posted by TamaraJ on March 5, 2005, at 11:33:42
Hi,
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> -- That is good news! Try not to worry Kara. The day will come when you will not be hitting the snooze button for as long. My bedside clock is always set about 1/2 an hour ahead so that I can hit the snooze button over and over and over again before I get out of bed! My warped logic has me somehow convinced that I am getting more sleep this way. It's human nature to want to grab as many winks as we can. I am sure that once you find the right med and get your depression under even moderate control, you will be more inclined to hit the snooze button less. And, your credibility with yourself will be back :-)
>Ah, so you hit the snooze button a lot too. I've started to set my alarm earlier as well. (Unfortunately that gives me more reason to keep hitting that snooze button.) I'm hoping that when I have to be some place that I won't continue to hit the snooze button. We shall see.
> -- I guess. I don't show my impatience outwardly, so that's a good thing. And, I try to contain myself when my friends want to spend lots of time trying things on (I can't be bothered trying things on - I know my size and what I like, so I usually just head to the cash with my purchases). I have been that way for years - a hyper, get in and get out type of shopper. That's great about your day of errands. That's an accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. And you drove as well! That's wonderful! I know what you mean about the hopeless feeling, and I can so relate to that. But, you were probably feeling tired and a bit drained from all that you had done that day. I mean, really, that would have been a full day even for someone without depression. When I get that hopeless feeling I kind of step back and think about what else is going on, and, more often than not, I realize that I am just feeling tired and drained, and that it probably is not the best time to think about things like the future. So, I try to turn my thinking to something else - even if it is just to taking out the garbage or getting the kitchen organized. Anything to distract myself from the feelings of hopelessness until I have had a chance to get some sleep and recharge a bit. And, don't forget, you have a lot on your plate right now - the upcoming move, a complete change in your living arrangements, trying to decide on a new med. . . So, not to sound like a nudge, but be patient and gentle with yourself. Once you get settled, the feelings of hopelessness will likely subside somewhat. Right now, it's just a lot to deal with and think about. I so wish for you peace of mind Kara.
If your method of shopping works for you, then no harm done. I'm the opposite though. I don't want to have to worry about taking it back if it doesn't fit so I always try things on. I saw a segment on the news the other day about some retailers having limits on the amount of things that can be brought back within certain timeframes. The person who always just brought things home was not allowed to return some things because of this policy and it led to a story on the news.
I think that doing some CBT or trying to redirect thoughts to something else are good solutions (if one can manage it) when one starts to negatively worry and obsess. Who knows, maybe even the tapping will, in time, help with this kind of thing. And maybe medication could help eventually.
> -- I took my first dose last night. So, time will tell. Ya, I think the success stories keep us going. I am sure it is only a matter of time before you have that type of success. You've had partial success, so it is now just a matter of finding the right med or combo of meds for you. I had a really good response to Paxil. It was rough the first few weeks - increased anxiety, nausea, etc. But, once it kicked in and started being active again, I was like my old self again. I am still kicking myself in the butt for stopping it a couple of years ago. I should have continued with a low, maintainence dose. Oh well, live and learn. Like you, I hang on to hope. If hope is all we have sometimes to keep us going through the rough times, then we have to hang on to it with both hands.
So how is the nort. treating you so far??? Any side effects or problems? Hopefully it's ok. I had tachycardia from it but you would have noticed that on the first pill so chances are you're not going to have that problem. Don't beat yourself up about going off of the Paxil. There's no way you could have known about future med problems. I feel that away about the Effexor sometimes but I went off of it for a good reason and I just keep telling myself that.
> -- My mom is a strange bird sometimes. She keeps wanting me to go on a cruise with her so she can "meet a hunk". Can you imagine! I always tell she's all talk no action :-) My pdoc really does seem to love his work. But, he does have outside interests, and he has, I think, a big, loving family. So, I am sure that when he decides to retire, he won't be without things to him occupied.
Both of your parents are characters! Definitely lots of material for a sitcom! As for your doctor, I really envy him. I wish I had a career I loved and that gave me a sense of fulfillment.
> -- That is almost criminal. I am sure there must be some kind of corelation between a healthy society and a healthy economy. People have enough to worry about these days that stressing over whether they can afford to see a doctor or have a necessary surgery shouldn't be one of them. I suppose to a lot of politicians there are just more important things to spend money on. What a shame.Criminal is exactly the word. And even those who have health insurance can be completely ruined financially if they or one of their family members develops a horrible disease or condition because insurance only pays for so much. Besides, insurance companies always find excuses not to cover things. They love to call procedures "experimental" and that way they don't have to pay for them. The politicians always give lip service to changing our healthcare system but nothing ever happens once they get elected. To be fair, Clinton tried to do this but Congress gave too much resistance. Part of the reason was that he put Hillary in charge of the whole thing and everyone balked at her being given this role. Afterall, who was she? No one elected her to anything (at the time). Lots of sexism involved too.
> -- That's right. You won't know until you try. And, you know you always have the option of getting your own place again.Yeah, I'm sure it's the best move in the short-term. It's just my heightened state of anxiety, given recent events, that has me questioning my decision.
> -- That's too bad that the researchers gave up. Who knows what a little extra tweaking might have done. I agree that it would have been discouraging. I, too, would have felt some level of hopelessness. It's so nice to hear the optimism in Jerry's words now though isn't it. I have been following his opiates trial threads, and I am so happy for him that he is experiencing some measure of relief. Another positive story of success to hold on it. Thank goodness!
I just hope that this therapy continues to work for Jerry. There are lots of dangers with opiates and the chances are great that he will require higher and higher dosages in the future.
> -- Those doctors, I think, are few and far between. I remember when I asked my gp and pdoc if I could try aminos and they both just kind of dismissed the suggestion with a wave of a hand and said sure go ahead. Me too - I was somewhat jealous of Fred's success! I was happy for him, but I thought why couldn't that have been me. Oh well, we're human, so it is only natural to feel that way sometimes. And, who knows, maybe you will have that kind of success if you try the DLPA again and play around with the dose. I can't remember, did you ever try Acetyl L-Carnitine? It is another supplement that is supposed to be effective for increasing motivation and decreasing apathy. I also read that it is effective for chronic fatigue syndrome symptoms. Once I have increased my dose of nort, I may try adding a couple of natural supplements - probably NADH and L-Carnitine.What was your response to the l-tyrosine? I thought that helped you but my memory is failing me. I tried acetyl-l-carnitine along with DMAE and phosphatidylserine for several weeks and didn't notice any improvement. I'm sure that they were doing good things in my body but nothing that I could really pinpoint in terms of depression or increased concentration. I only took 100 mg. of DMAE and PS though. I don't remember the ALC dose. Maybe I didn't go high enough on any of them. I don't have the money now or I'd like to try taking larger doses of PS to lower my cortisol. The NADH and ALC seemed to work well for you. Good to know that you have those augmentors available to you.
> -- You are right! I think smoking can be a stimulant, but it also can be quite physically draining. I know the withdrawal will be brutal for a few days, but that is to be expected. Maybe by the time I quit, I will have already been through the worst of the nort side effects so I won't be dealing with both side effects and withdrawal. I hope so.
That could be right and if you sense trouble from the nicotine withdrawal, you can always slow down the process. I think it's a great sign that you're motivated to quit smoking now.
> -- That's good. I'll have to dance a bit longer and a bit harder next time :-) Seriously though, I hope the rain lets up for an extended period of time soon.
Your raindance worked. It's really sunny here today and the prediction is for several more days of this to follow. So, please don't stop the dancing!!! (It could also help you deal with cigarette withdrawal and work wonders for your anxiety.) :-)
Talk to you later. Now I think I'm going to force my butt outside to take a walk.
Kara
poster:KaraS
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050305/msgs/467472.html