Posted by TamaraJ on March 5, 2005, at 11:33:42
In reply to Re: Kara, my turn. How you are doing? » TamaraJ, posted by KaraS on March 4, 2005, at 21:26:19
> > > Hi Kara,
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> I haven't been waking up with that panic lately. I'm amazed that this low level of doxepin has been able to take that away. It still don't want to get out of bed, however, and I end up resetting the alarm a hundred times (despite my promises to myself the night before that I'll wake up the first time the alarm goes off.) By now I've lost all credibility with myself. :-(
>
-- That is good news! Try not to worry Kara. The day will come when you will not be hitting the snooze button for as long. My bedside clock is always set about 1/2 an hour ahead so that I can hit the snooze button over and over and over again before I get out of bed! My warped logic has me somehow convinced that I am getting more sleep this way. It's human nature to want to grab as many winks as we can. I am sure that once you find the right med and get your depression under even moderate control, you will be more inclined to hit the snooze button less. And, your credibility with yourself will be back :-)
> I bet your friends really enjoy shopping with you. Have you always been like that or is it a more recent phenomenon that goes along with your current anxiety state? It's good that you try to go with more than two people so you can zip around and not have to wait for others. I went to do a lot of errands yesterday - was gone at least 7 hours. That's the first time in weeks that I've been able to do that. At first I was pleased to have made the progress but then for some reason as the day wore on I felt very hopeless. I started obsessing about the future. I was tired and the bad traffic didn't help at all. If only I could stop worrying so much about the future.
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-- I guess. I don't show my impatience outwardly, so that's a good thing. And, I try to contain myself when my friends want to spend lots of time trying things on (I can't be bothered trying things on - I know my size and what I like, so I usually just head to the cash with my purchases). I have been that way for years - a hyper, get in and get out type of shopper. That's great about your day of errands. That's an accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. And you drove as well! That's wonderful! I know what you mean about the hopeless feeling, and I can so relate to that. But, you were probably feeling tired and a bit drained from all that you had done that day. I mean, really, that would have been a full day even for someone without depression. When I get that hopeless feeling I kind of step back and think about what else is going on, and, more often than not, I realize that I am just feeling tired and drained, and that it probably is not the best time to think about things like the future. So, I try to turn my thinking to something else - even if it is just to taking out the garbage or getting the kitchen organized. Anything to distract myself from the feelings of hopelessness until I have had a chance to get some sleep and recharge a bit. And, don't forget, you have a lot on your plate right now - the upcoming move, a complete change in your living arrangements, trying to decide on a new med. . . So, not to sound like a nudge, but be patient and gentle with yourself. Once you get settled, the feelings of hopelessness will likely subside somewhat. Right now, it's just a lot to deal with and think about. I so wish for you peace of mind Kara.
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> Have you started the nort. yet? I also like to hear about people who have great success with something. It gives me hope. I've never had that kind of success yet. I've had partial mood lift which has allowed me to function but nothing that has made life seem worth living. I am determined, however, to find something that works even if I have to get invasive surgery (hopefully it won't come to that). Did you have that kind of success when you were on Paxil before it pooped-out? (That was what you took earlier, right?)
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-- I took my first dose last night. So, time will tell. Ya, I think the success stories keep us going. I am sure it is only a matter of time before you have that type of success. You've had partial success, so it is now just a matter of finding the right med or combo of meds for you. I had a really good response to Paxil. It was rough the first few weeks - increased anxiety, nausea, etc. But, once it kicked in and started being active again, I was like my old self again. I am still kicking myself in the butt for stopping it a couple of years ago. I should have continued with a low, maintainence dose. Oh well, live and learn. Like you, I hang on to hope. If hope is all we have sometimes to keep us going through the rough times, then we have to hang on to it with both hands.
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> Sounds like material for movie or a TV sitcom! Wow, still working at age 76. He must really like his job (or he'sone of those people who wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they retired). His age helps to explain his conservatism with medications too. But I'm glad he came through for you recently.
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-- My mom is a strange bird sometimes. She keeps wanting me to go on a cruise with her so she can "meet a hunk". Can you imagine! I always tell she's all talk no action :-) My pdoc really does seem to love his work. But, he does have outside interests, and he has, I think, a big, loving family. So, I am sure that when he decides to retire, he won't be without things to him occupied.
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> Maybe the psychiatric community wouldn't want that kind of a tool. If a patient is easily diagnosed and treated, then there's no need to have them come in to the office a million times for further treatment. They might find their income dropping off significantly.
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-- You have probably hit the nail on the head. Sometimes it all comes down to money. What a shame :-(
> > >
> I agree completely. It's just horrible that some people don't have access to health care. Actually the numbers are well over 40 million people in the U.S. without health care coverage. There are some free clinics but they are decreasing in number as the number of uninsureds has climbed. This problem will only get worse as budget cuts further curtail the services avaiable. Not a good situation.
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-- That is almost criminal. I am sure there must be some kind of corelation between a healthy society and a healthy economy. People have enough to worry about these days that stressing over whether they can afford to see a doctor or have a necessary surgery shouldn't be one of them. I suppose to a lot of politicians there are just more important things to spend money on. What a shame.
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> It'll probably work out and, if not, then I'll have to get my own place again. In the meantime I'll have the company as you said. You're a riot with the telepathic messages about decorating. I think she's way beyond hope though.
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-- That's right. You won't know until you try. And, you know you always have the option of getting your own place again.
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> I asked him that same question about whether he might have given it more of a chance. He said that they did try changing the frequency and it didn't help and the researchers told him to forget it. How incredibly discouraging to go through something that dramatic and not get results. I'd have felt completely hopeless after that.
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-- That's too bad that the researchers gave up. Who knows what a little extra tweaking might have done. I agree that it would have been discouraging. I, too, would have felt some level of hopelessness. It's so nice to hear the optimism in Jerry's words now though isn't it. I have been following his Opiates trial threads, and I am so happy for him that he is experiencing some measure of relief. Another positive story of success to hold on it. Thank goodness!
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> That would be nice but for now you have to combine the meds and the supplements on your own or search for one of those rare doctors who know both. I remember being jealous of Fred Potter's success with l-tyrosine. If that had worked to augment the Effexor last year then I wouldn't have had to go through this last horrible spell of anxiety and depression. Oh well, nothing to be gained by obsessing about something I had no control over.
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-- Those doctors, I think, are few and far between. I remember when I asked my gp and pdoc if I could try aminos and they both just kind of dismissed the suggestion with a wave of a hand and said sure go ahead. Me too - I was somewhat jealous of Fred's success! I was happy for him, but I thought why couldn't that have been me. Oh well, we're human, so it is only natural to feel that way sometimes. And, who knows, maybe you will have that kind of success if you try the DLPA again and play around with the dose. I can't remember, did you ever try Acetyl L-Carnitine? It is another supplement that is supposed to be effective for increasing motivation and decreasing apathy. I also read that it is effective for chronic fatigue syndrome symptoms. Once I have increased my dose of nort, I may try adding a couple of natural supplements - probably NADH and L-Carnitine.
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> Yikes is right. You'll fee so much better in the long run but in the short run you might have some withdrawal effects. Hope that you're able to tell what is nicotine withdrawal and what are side effects from the nort.
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-- You are right! I think smoking can be a stimulant, but it also can be quite physically draining. I know the withdrawal will be brutal for a few days, but that is to be expected. Maybe by the time I quit, I will have already been through the worst of the nort side effects so I won't be dealing with both side effects and withdrawal. I hope so.
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> We've had more rain but with some breakthrough sun sometimes so your sun dance partially worked.
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-- That's good. I'll have to dance a bit longer and a bit harder next time :-) Seriously though, I hope the rain lets up for an extended period of time soon.
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Take care Kara. Until next time.Tamara
poster:TamaraJ
thread:456548
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050305/msgs/466946.html