Posted by Eddie Sylvano on June 17, 2003, at 13:59:46
In reply to I'm scared, please help, posted by kara lynne on June 16, 2003, at 11:53:30
> Here is the problem. I believe it. Somewhere deep down I believe every horrible thing he said to me.
----------------Yes, that is exactly the problem. Consider that it's possible that you chose this particular guy because he reinforces views that you hold about yourself. It's not a concious decision, but it makes sense in a way. If you hold X to be true, you're not going to believe someone who doesn't, and you'll respect the person who agrees with you.
Much like experiencing problems with drugs or alcohol, it might make sense for you to take this opportunity to abstain from dating for a while, and get your bearings (so to speak). Surround yourself with more positive people, such as those on PB. Work with your therapist, if you have one. Identify the relationships in your life that have contributed to your harsh self-identity and recognize that they were lying, and probably in pain themselves. Above all, though, you likely need to culture a more realistic perception of yourself before you can be in a position to have an equal relationship with someone.
And yes, drop that guy with conviction.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:234326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030617/msgs/234578.html