Posted by kara lynne on June 16, 2003, at 16:34:09
In reply to Re: I'm scared, please help, posted by kalyb on June 16, 2003, at 15:24:44
I don't know if this got posted or not, but I wrote that I did a very massochistic thing and listened in to a phone conversation he had about me. He didn't know I could hear, and he said the most scathing things about me. It was just absolutely crushing, a nightmare, he picked all the points that I have trouble with and ripped them to shreds. Says I can't get a job, am just some horrible hermit who watches disgusting television shows. He simply forgot all the things he said last night and told the guy I just wasn't talking to him (for no good reason). Said I just have all these peculiar problems, don't have money, took so long going to school and haven't done anything with myself.
I'm sorry, I'm just reeling. It's so hard because these ARE my damaged areas, how do I go on feeling any integrity when the things he said have truth to them? And yet he just spoke about me so meanly. And everything he said was distorted and skewed and one sided--I wanted so much to defend myself, but this is how he sees me and there's nothing I can do about it. I am going to my p.doc's now, and then for counseling. I've had hardly any sleep and I can't stop crying. Thank you everyone who has responded. I really need to hear from you.
poster:kara lynne
thread:234326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/234396.html