Posted by maryhelen on May 5, 2003, at 19:55:50
In reply to The Living Dead, posted by magic potion on May 4, 2003, at 20:05:06
You might be very surprised how many posters were like your group and couldn't get out of bed at one time, if not time and time again. I certainly have been in that boat. Now that I can sit in front of a computer - what a great forum to come to for knowledge, understanding and caring and advise on meds.
I cannot imagine that anyone here would look to you as them being light years ahead of you. We are all at such different levels in our (hopeful) recovery.
Keep reading posts and you will see that there are many people who do not have the will to live, but try so hard to go on.
You have a prescription for Lexapro but you don't want to trick yourself into thinking that your life is good when it isn't. No, your life isn't good right now but the whole point is to try to balance the chemistry in your brain to give you a semblance of life back, not to trick someone else that lives in there.
Can the CBT for now.You can't see how counseling will change your life until you find out that counseling did not change your life.
It sounds to be that you have allowed your illness to talk, not you. If pdocs feel that you will do nothing to help yourself, the only thing they can do is certify you into a hospital if you are suicidal. Otherwise they can do nothing but probably stop the sessions. What does your external reality mean compared to the head games the docs want to play into faking you into believing that life is good. Bad doctors for trying.
No one straps you and shocks you anymore. It's very humane and they put you to sleep. It is really not a bad idea for you to look into considering the state your in. I have had 2 rounds of ECT.
Boy,if I could have a shower tomorrow...blow my hair dry, put makeup on.. smile at people I hate, pretending like I care and then gear up for another day of the same, I would think I had died and gone to heaven. I would be willing to say that most 'normal' people feel the same way.
Didn't mean to go on so long.
maryhelen
poster:maryhelen
thread:224324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/224580.html