Posted by Marie1 on July 21, 2001, at 8:17:13
In reply to Re: Therapist problems » Marie1, posted by shelliR on July 20, 2001, at 21:56:04
Hi, Shelli,
First of all, I've got to emphasize that this is my first and only personal experience with psychotherapy, so I don't have any past experiences to be able to compare with this current one. But I think it's very interesting that you have experienced attachment with all your therapists, some before you really knew them. Maybe because you went into the therapy with expectations of this (the attachment) happening? Now you've really got me thinking... I said in my previous post that I couldn't decide if I wanted him to be my father or my husband. (My pdoc and I are the same age, so there's no "father figure" thing, at least on the surface. And btw, I did not have a positive, nurturing relationship with my own father. He was very verbally and emotionally abusive to the whole family.) That can't be a "normal" sort of attachment. I've never wished for my husband to be my father. So, I guess maybe there is something more going on here emotionally. I think I have a problem with the whole concept of transfering affection felt for someone else to your therapist. Although in your case, that must be what's happening, especially if you develop your feelings so early on. Hmmm...
I can also thoroughly relate to your "ache", or longing feeling. It's sort of bittersweet. I try to hold on to the feelings I have for my therapist as long as I can after my weekly session with him, but as the week goes on the almost euphoric feelings get replaced with a sort of sadness when I think of him. I hate that, because it makes me feel dissatisfied with the rest of my life when I'm not with him. Ohh...that really sounds pathological, doesn't it?
(DF, if you're reading this, please let me know so I can stop humiliating myself.)
OK, so having written this, I think I've sorted things out somewhat. I don't think I can really make up my mind on the credibility of "transference" based on only one experience with a therapist. And I do think that what has happened with you is something besides what would be a "normal" attachment to someone.
So do you think having "issues" stemming from childhood are a pre-requisite for feelings of transference?Marie
p.s. Judy - delighted to have you join the conversation. What did you think of the book?
p.p.s. Please excuse the bit of paranoia above. < g >
poster:Marie1
thread:7541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010717/msgs/7708.html