Posted by shelliR on July 20, 2001, at 21:56:04
In reply to Re: Therapist problems » shelliR, posted by Marie1 on July 20, 2001, at 19:43:48
Hi Marie.
> You said that for you, the attachment is the transference. Why does transference have anything to do with the attachment? Why can't the attachment stand alone? Maybe I'm not understanding what you meant by that. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't think transference has anything at all to do with feelings the patient develops for his therapist. It's like Freud was making a normal reaction to a situation (therapy) into something way more complicated. As Freud himself said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
>The reason that I would call my attachment transference is that I have the same feelings for every therapist that I've ever had. I have had them even if I didn't even really like my therapist, or respect her/him (in the past). So I think at times I am bringing more "attachment" feelings than there is a real connection, based on mutual respect, etc. Two other clues: (1) I begin to have these feelings very very early in the relationship, before the connection has really time to develop; and (2) the attachment feels very childlike, in some way I always *feel* younger than the therapist, even if there is not much of an age difference.
The connection to my therapist is connected to a sense of longing, and I feel an aching inside also, when I leave the session. I think that projection of my longing on to the therapist is a transference. And I guess I feel that when I have truely accepted that I missed that relationship in my childhood (and really mourned it, and let go of it) then I will not have the same type of feelings toward my therapist. That I could like and feel close to my therapist in a more adult way.Do you disagree with this idea/definition of transference? Do you think that a projected attachment/longing is not a transference?
Shelli
poster:shelliR
thread:7541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010717/msgs/7693.html