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Re: Therapist problems » shelliR

Posted by Marie1 on July 18, 2001, at 22:31:11

In reply to Re: Therapist problems » Marie1, posted by shelliR on July 18, 2001, at 16:18:05

Shelli,
Hi - and yeah, I'm on the WAY outer beltway!
What kind of business are you in? I don't mean to compromise your anonymity, so feel free to be vague. I was just curious. I work for a small business owner (actually, we're more like partners, but technically the business is hers - it's her money we're losing! < g >), so I understand that total absorption into your own business thing.
As for the book, I actually made more headway into it today and I'm finding it interesting. The author looks in depth at transference with male and female therapists, from the perspective of their female clients. Apparently there's a lot of commonality in how women relate to therapists of either sex.
The author cites examples of women falling in love with their male therapist, or developing a crush on their women therapist, fantasizing about being her sister, etc. Same thing only different, is how I understand it so far. One of the reasons for my reading this book is because I don't think I buy the concept of "transference"; I think that it's entirely natural that given the intensity of typical therapeutic relationships, it stands to reason that intense feelings may develop for the therapist. I mean, didn't we fall in love with our significant others in a similar process? I understand the concept of transference, it happens all the time; you don't like the cashier at the grocery because she reminds you of the kid down the street you couldn't stand years ago. That can happen in therapy I suppose, but I don't think thats the majority of supposed "transference" cases.
Actually ,I'm fairly new at all this "shrink stuff", so I may be off the wall here - that remains to be seen. In any case, I am enjoying the book, although she tends to write in a rather formal way, so I find I can't read it when I'm feeling foggy. Which is how I feel right now.
Take care.

Marie

> Hi Marie,
>
> Does the book you are reading talk about only male therapists and female patients, or does it also address female therapists and female patients?
>
> Shelli
>
> p.s. I think you said you live in Northern Va. I live about 3 miles north of nw d.c. in maryland. When I read your posts, I always get an image of you being out there somewhere on the other side of the bridge!


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