Posted by Annabelle Smith on April 16, 2011, at 12:29:24
my God,
my God.I made my choice, and I think it was wrong.
But I am split. My intuition, guiding voice is split-- so either way I go, I feel wrong.
I need to stay here longer with my therapist.
I need to go to Boston to the program where I will feel excited and alive. I feel dead and obsesed now. I am always obsessed-- it's just the way my mind works. When I am obsessed with my work, good things emerge-- I am productive. When I am obsessed with therapy, I spin in circles.I chose to stay, because if not, I would have had about 4 sessions left with my therapist-- that is not long enough termination for anyone, especially in my situation, it would be impossible. I would only have that few sessions left because of practical reasons why I would be unable to stay in town.
So I chose to stay, but now think it was the wrong move. I stayed just because of my therapist. I am stuck.
In images. grief. loss. hell.
Dear God, dear God, I am in hell.
I have never felt so sad and hopeless.
I want to know what XXX will do when taken at once. I now have them. Will it just cause brain damage? Or will it make it all end.I spread them out on my desk sometimes, and look at them. This is hell. I am tearing in two.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:983016
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/983016.html