Posted by Jayy on June 1, 2009, at 17:05:36
In reply to Re: Ever Been In An 'Intensive Outpatient Program', posted by Jayy on June 1, 2009, at 15:37:58
Howdy (to anyone reading :O) )
So today was my 3rd day at the program:
Last Thursday was my first day: On that day I saw the Psychiatrist. Again he went over w/ me why he thinks I'm "bipolar 2" and prescribed me Lithium @ 600mg a night.
I'm pretty pleased w/ him... I had been reading a bipolar web site and wrote down all the meds that were known to cause weight gain (which I refuse to take) and he actually took the paper from me and read it and then went over each med. with me.Not a big deal but I was impressed that he was paying attention to what I was saying and not just BS'ing me.
So I had maybe 1/2 an hour with him, got an RX for 30 days and have no clue when I'll see him again.
I have to go for a blood test tomorrow to check my Lithium levels so maybe I'll see him soon... maybe not... no idea.On Thursday I also met individually w/ a therapist (I think she's a social worker/ baby sitter).
She was very nice but I didn't get much time to talk.After I met w/ her I was told to go into a room (for group therapy). The other babysitter wasn't in the room yet and when she arrived she said I was in the wrong room/group and told me to go to the other one.
Long story short: I walk into the room and the b**ch running the group gave me such an attitude!!
I was flabbergasted at the fact that this social worker/ professional baby sitter had the extraordinarily unprofessional, unnecessary and obnoxious attitude w/ me (the mental patient... just for walking into her room).I have a tendency to be extremely sensitive to attitudes and I wanted to check and see if I was imagining that this woman had the nerve to give me such an attitude so later on I asked the whole group: Everyone of them confirmed that yes, she did give me a huge attitude... but then a few went on to make excuses for her and tell me why I should let it go and that normally she's very nice.
Yeah, well I let it go but I don't need some snotty b**ch (who's supposed to be there to help me) giving me an unjustified attitude of that nature and I don't give a crap what her excuse was. It was very uncalled for and really infuriated me.
That woman ("A") is the same woman who read us an entire Dr Seuss book on Friday afternoon because there was only 25 minutes left and apparently she thought it would be a good idea... to read a f*cking Dr Seuss book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry, but I am not a child or mentally retarded: To read a Dr Seuss book to a group of adult mental patients (none of which are retarded) is so completely outrageously offensive and ridiculous to me and I just could not believe what I was dealing with.
Anyway, she's "nice" now but I don't trust her at all.
I really like all of the other patients there: I feel so NOT judged by everyone and it is nice to talk with others who have similar mental problems.
But as far as the program goes I believe it's useless to me. Hearing others talk about their particular problems doesn't do anything for me and it's not going to. I have my own issues and need to talk with a professional therapist (not a babysitter) alone about them.
What's good though is that I've only taken the Lithium for the past 4 nights and I swear I already feel waaaay less angry... believe it or not after this whole rant! ;O)
Here's what's really horrible: I made the stupid mistake of being too honest and telling the Psych. that I smoke pot occasionally.
Today one of the therapists (the first woman I spoke to) calls me into her office: I was told that the van was gonna drive me to the hospital so I can give a urine sample.
OK, that's fine. But what's NOT fine is that I was told that if there's pot in my system (which there is since I just smoked in Sunday) that they'd have to give me another one in a week... and if there's STILL pot in my urine then that means (according to her BS) that I'm a "chronic smoker" and that I'm not going to be allowed to move on from this program into individual therapy... and that I'd have to enter there drug rehab program first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
F**k that and f**k them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm completely outraged. Because I choose to smoke pot on occasion this means that I'm an effing drug addict and I need to go to some drug rehab?????
So (like I said to her) it's perfectly fine if I went home each day and drank alcohol, but God forbid I smoke some pot. I don't give a crap what they say... pot is fine and it's the farthest thing from a problem for me.
I'm not a damn drug addict, or a child or a retard and I very much resent being treated like one.That cannot possibly make sense and I'm beginning to think (again) that all they want to do is drain me (Medicare/Medicaid) for every dime they can.
Anyway, tomorrow (if I'm able to see this woman privately) I'm telling her that if I want to smoke pot occasionally then I will.
And I'm going to tell her that it's fine if they won't agree to treat me: But I'll also remind her that of course that means that I won't be able to get any of my medications and of course I'll have major withdrawal from them and of course that means I could easily die or seizure or both. Not to mention the fact that I'm already suicidally depressed so without any Dr or medication I'm sure it won't be a happy ending for me.
I'm not going back to that useless guidance center and all of my records are now at this new Romper Room...
If they really intend to throw me out and not treat me over simply smoking some pot then again, f**k them. I'm already depressed enough and it's just great to think that I may soon be in a worse situation than I was prior to joining that nut house.
poster:Jayy
thread:897113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/898832.html