Posted by frida on April 24, 2007, at 20:44:45
In reply to To clarify, might be **sex trigger**, posted by toetapper on April 24, 2007, at 20:20:23
toetapper...
muffled...
I'm so sorry it's so hard for both of you..
it's hard for me to say something about this because I struggle with it so much :-(
I try to "get through it" sometimes, but I agree, for me it's really, really painful.
for me it's exactly the same feelings as being waiting in the dark for my father to come and hurt me over and over.
I try to do it, because my partner feels really rejected, and i understand..it's so hard for him. So I try, I want him to feel happy. But it's so hard for me. I am left with the hopeless desperate feeling days after, the need to s.i to stop it...it's really painful. I've tried "going away" in my mind, tell the little girl in me to go and stay safely in her tree house...
i've tried other ways...
but just seeing a hand on me, hearing him breathe, anything that makes me feel he'll want to have sex with me or touch me or be touched, makes me feel as if i were getting into this dark dark place and feeling i can't ...
it's horrible for me, i'm happy going to the movies, holding hands, but anything that goes beyond that is just too painful. Being touched with the intention to be intimate that way just makes me feel it's a torture.
I wish it wasn't that way...
I remember feeling it was unfair when my T told me to try some things...i remember feeling angry at her, how could she want me to experience such pain? Now she really understands what it is like for me.
Even kissing can be triggering.
The feeling I get is that I'd rather be held as a little girl, by a mother, safely, instead of being asked to do these things.
I am sorry i have no answers...
it's a very hard issue...
talking with my T has helped, at least to feel less alone.
Maybe you could try discussing it a little with your T?
to try to see how you could feel safer and how you could talk with your husband? Maybe he'd be understanding and wait till you feel in a better place?It's really hard...I wish there were easy answers to solve this.
Sending you support,
Frida
poster:frida
thread:752745
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/753124.html