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Re: inner child stuff » curtm

Posted by wishingstar on May 4, 2006, at 22:48:45

In reply to Re: inner child stuff » wishingstar, posted by curtm on May 4, 2006, at 14:42:09

> ** That is like a double-edged sword for me because if you are trying to help me through listening to what I have to say, I will whine (poor me.) If you are trying to help me by suggesting what what might be best for me to do/change, I will get defensive and flippant.
>

Wow, reading this line really hit me. I do something very similar! I want her to listen and let me whine, but then I get mad at myself and wont be real with her. But when she tries to come up with solutions, I get mad at her and dont feel heard, and wont talk. I dont think that I've ever been outwardly defensive with her (at least I havent felt like I have), but there is definitely a big internal battle going on where part of me just wants to walk out with a string of profanities and never come back. Other weeks, shes the greatest person I've ever met. Very black and white.

As you mentioned, trust is also a huge issue for me. I trust her with my thoughts, but not so much with my emotions. When I've told her I dont feel heard in the past, I felt like she sort of blew it off (oh, thats just transference.. etc). But the trust is getting better. One day at a time.

I'm glad you've had such a great experience with your pdoc. It's amazing how much one good therapy relationship can do. :)


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