Posted by gardenergirl on May 4, 2006, at 0:08:20
In reply to Re: inner child stuff, posted by fairywings on May 3, 2006, at 23:02:05
Hi,
My T does not use the term "inner child", but he does talk about how some feelings and reactions are "old" and represent unmet needs from the past. I admit I have had similar reactions to being faced with those needs cropping up again. I would often judge it as "immature", yes "whining", or "stupid". Yet he always respected them, and he helped me use the feelings to figure out what was going on now that was triggering the old need. Experiencing his reaction and his intepretations seems to make it easier for me to feel that it's okay to have that five year old part of myself in there. And she's also the part of myself that still likes to hear the sound of the leaves crunching under my feet in the fall, who likes to slide across the hardwood floors in stockinged feet when no one else is home, and who says silly things to the dog, so it's not all bad. :)Of course, it's taken awhile to feel okay about it. And now that I am approaching termination in therapy, I'm sort of regressing to the stage where I'm being judgmental to myself again. But as my T says, I recognize it now, which is good.
At any rate, I think it's possible to look at stuff from childhood and how the needs can still exist within us, without necessarily calling it an "inner child". I tend to refer to it as "old" versus "now". Could it be just that phrase, which can be over-used, that's off-putting to you?
And I know it's hard to say things to our T's that we fear might hurt their feelings. It's human nature, afterall (at least I believe it to be), and it shows that you care about her, which is good. And when you feel that doing this in the past has not resulted in change, that makes it harder. But as someone who's been on the other side of the room, I can tell you that I do want to hear from my clients when they feel I'm not connecting or if they don't feel I'm being helpful. At the moment, I can't really think of a time when I felt really bad about feedback from a client, although I'm in a pretty positive mood today, so... :) So, I guess I'm saying it ought to be okay to share your thoughts and reactions with your T. I hope it is.
Take care,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:639766
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/639834.html