Posted by Tamar on April 25, 2006, at 22:06:29
In reply to Crush on My Counselor- Out of Control?, posted by DisposableDoll on April 25, 2006, at 17:52:56
Hello, and welcome to Babble!
It sounds as if you’re in a pretty hard place right now. But you seem to have a lot of good insight into your feelings for your counsellor.
One thing I wondered: do you think it’s possible that your not-telling about the drugs and self harm is somehow related to your not-telling about your love for him? Are you so afraid of his rejection that you’d rather hurt yourself than risk him hurting you? If there’s anything in that idea, I guess I’d say that if he’s a good therapist he’ll be able to let you down gently. He can’t be your lover because it wouldn’t be good for you; it wouldn’t be therapy. But he can be sensitive and caring towards you and he can demonstrate his fondness for you within therapy. It sounds to me as if you’re struggling with a sense of risk; maybe he can help you with it.
I am familiar with the urge to confess love… It never gets easier. When I love someone I want to tell them. Always have, always will. I think it’s natural. But it sounds to me as if you fear losing the whole relationship if you tell him how you feel. Maybe that’s a place to start. Maybe you could talk to him about how important the relationship is to you and how you’re afraid of doing or saying something that might jeopardise it. And maybe he’ll be able to reassure you. If he’s a good therapist he should be able to handle that kind of thing. What do you think?
Good luck,
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:636996
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060422/msgs/637078.html