Posted by orchid on December 22, 2005, at 2:32:54
In reply to Sigh, posted by Voce on December 21, 2005, at 16:26:18
I can understand how it must have triggered everything back again.
I do hope that your T can talk to you and help you get full closure. It will definitely help immensely for you to move past this.
But he probably will not do it, if he hasn't done it so far. Like it or not, the fact is that somehow he lacks in this, in giving you full closure - for whatever reason. You would probably never get him to admit it or apologize or help you move ahead.
One thing perhaps that you can do by yourself, is to accept in your mind, that this will always remain a little puzzling for you, and that you perhaps will never get full closure on this from your ex T. Accepting that it will never be fully closed, sometimes strangely brings closure. Like how we come to accept it when a person dies suddenly. Try to leave it to God and move on.
Since your T won't help you through it, this seems to be the only possible option to me. Also maybe you can turn him into a normal human being with lots of faults, you might find it easier to move on.
Another thing that would help is to try to substitute other men for him. Try to talk to different men, and you might come to understand that everyone is great in their own way, and that might help you move past this.
But I do agree, that the best thing to happen would be for your T to pick up enough strength and talk to you openly and perhaps admit his mistakes, or atleast walk you through over his thoughts, so that you will gain closure. But it takes a strong person with lot of openness and integrity and good will to be able to do that.
((Voce))
poster:orchid
thread:591027
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/591206.html