Posted by Pfinstegg on December 28, 2004, at 9:28:20
In reply to Coexisting Ego States, posted by daisym on December 28, 2004, at 0:35:33
I think I understand all the things you mentioned; I keep experiencing one or another of them, too. Aren't all the things which are hard to bear- the longing to see him very often, the fear of the abuse, the fear that he won't want to keep seeing you , the sorrow that you had to endure this- and that he wasn't there to love and protect you *then*- all feelings that the younger you had, and keeps on having? You could call some of it "flashbacks", but, to look at it another way, the younger you is still alive, and doesn't have a time sense the way the adult you does.
I'd agree completely with your T that you are really doing very deep important work. You've gotten your younger self truly out into the therapy, and all the feelings you are experiencing are the very uncomfortable, uncertain ones which she felt. I think it's OK to trust them, even though you don't yet know where they are leading. It will lead to more acceptance and integration between the two parts, and that should eventually diminish your depression and anxiety. I think it's so good to allow as much of a dialogue as possible between your younger self and the therapist- that way, your younger part will have a new, good experience with your wonderful T, who seems to know just what to do, and is not having any difficulty maintaining a very positive, optimistic and close conection to all of you. If you think about it, he is very experienced, and he must have been able to bring really difficult work like this to a successful conclusion with other clients. If he hadn't done that, he wouldn't be so hopeful and confident in his work with you. If you're discouraged now, let him have "hope for you both", as mine has said. Also, if you need medication, don't be afraid to take it; I know you've frequently seen it written that therapy and medication are the most potent combination for change. I'm personally in favor of low doses of medication; I presently take 37.5 mg. of Wellbutrin, and 5 mg. of Lexapro
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:433059
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/434960.html