Posted by shadows721 on April 23, 2004, at 10:43:57
In reply to Re: Not being understood » shadows721, posted by fallsfall on April 23, 2004, at 7:31:54
It sounds like to me you really have made a tremendous about work on yourself through therapy. I am so happy for you. You appear really honest about yourself with others.
I hope that I am not touching on too sensitive of topic, but I am just sharing to help you. You mentioned that your Dad is the one that critized you. I am guessing that this male therapist is reminding you of him. This isn't a bad thing at all. It is helpful for you to see that even though you got critized in the past. It did not make you into a "bad" person (i.e, a failure). I think the trying to do thinks right in t is really about feeling you weren't right in your father's eyes. A child feels if I can be perfect then they will love me they way I want to be loved. The key to therapy is sharing the pain and "feelings" you experienced from your relationship with your Dad. You were and still are a good person with or without his approval. Unconsciously, the child part is still saying, "No, I wasn't right." This is where the really treatment begins. It's uncovering what the child part of you really needs to hear from you over and over again - "You are perfect just the way you are. It doesn't matter what people say or do. You are a wonderful child and I love you just the way you are." Also, I think this feeling of not doing things "right" in t are the feelings you had growing up. It was like no matter what I do - It's not right or I am not right.
Hope, I haven't stepped to far and I hope that I didn't upset you. I just think you are so close to really getting what you need from t. After all, it's a self discover that you were okay all along. It's was other's persceptions that weren't realistic and they past on their pain to another generation. So, then, you will find you don't care if people critize. It's there problem how they see something. You will know that you are okay just the way you are and you always were.
It's not that your not being understood today. It's that you were not understood an seen as you really were from a critical parent. This is being played out over again in other relationships. You have the power to see the truth now.
Caring thoughts for you.
poster:shadows721
thread:338953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339133.html