Posted by joslynn on November 20, 2003, at 13:10:29
In reply to Re: Ok, did he handle this properly? (long, kinda?) » karen_kay, posted by karen_kay on November 20, 2003, at 12:35:55
I hope I am not out of line in saying this, especially as a newbie, but for some reason the "Now it's consensual" comment you said he made gave me a little pink flag feeling. I don't know why and it could have more to do with my own stuff than you.
Consent means "To give assent or approval." It's not just saying "That's ok" it's saying "I approve."
I guess that to me, the word "consensual" in the case would sound to me like he was condoning his emotional participation in some way? Not that any of this would be literal...but figuratively, the word to me sounds like something two people do together. "Consensual" is not something that one person has, it involves more than one person, e.g., the phrase "Consensual opinion." "Now it's consensual" to my ears would sound like he was not just saying my fantasies were ok, but that on some level, he agreed with them.
I'm a writer, so I do tend to get hung up on words, and maybe that's all this is. I just wanted to let you know another opinion, since you asked.
(I don't even think he did anything technically wrong, but that word choice is not one I would have made if I were in his position. And of course I would be The Perfect Therapist, lol)
I am sorry you experienced that abuse in your childhood and I hope this post does not bring up any bad feelings. It's just another angle.
poster:joslynn
thread:281378
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031114/msgs/281689.html