Posted by llrrrpp on July 31, 2006, at 14:29:22
This is from a guy I used to work with. No longer in my department. I just got this random e-mail and it's so kind :) almost made me cry. Someone remembered me :)
Hi [llrrrpp]
Nice to hear from you again [I had responded to his group e-mail complimenting our department on our safety record]If we had a "Hall of Fame", I would definitely put you there. I enjoyed and miss working with you. Awesome should be your middle name. I really appreciate all your support and I would like to again say that you deserve the best in life because you are simply the best.
[Isn't that incredibly kind? It's so kind that it's almost causing me anxiety because I don't really feel that way. I don't feel like I was supportive, I was just goofy- tried to make a boring job more fun. And I'm not used to such strong explicit compliments about my personage, usually I get isolated compliments about my work, or my cooking, or whatever- but rarely on my personality. I'm dumbstruck. trying really hard not to completely discount this. it would be an insult to this guy's good judgment -which he has- if I discounted it.
why do compliments feel so uncomfortable??!!!
Also, I was worried the whole time that I was committing faux-pas's. You see, this guy is African-American, and much older than I am, coming from a different background. And after we'd been working for a year or so, I would bring up cultural differences and race relations and things into our conversations. I've never been comfortable speaking about these things before, and even our superficial conversations felt kind of difficult, just because two people so different from each other rarely have the opportunity to discuss things like that.
I consider myself lucky that he let me learn from the ignorant things I said, rather than becoming defensive and closed, pegging me as a bigot. Because the truth is that I was raised by a family (one side) who has a long history of organized overt racism, southern style. And the other side of the family is ultra-liberal equality for all, etc... I always had things that I wanted to know about the Black experience in the USA, but I never knew who to ask, who I wouldn't offend. And he taught me a lot. More about how similar we are and how our differences are social constructs that are no longer relevant. Also an appreciation for many wonderful aspects of African American culture, (food, family life, ceremony, etc.)
And he thinks I'm awesome. wow. I'm blown away. Don't know whether to smile or what.]
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:672321
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060725/msgs/672321.html