Posted by gardenergirl on July 28, 2006, at 21:54:12
In reply to question » gardenergirl, posted by laima on July 28, 2006, at 20:14:02
> I hope you believe me that I am sincere in trying to understand what you are saying- if someone, say, uses a word or term technically "uncivil" on the site, but no one perceives it as "uncivil", no one is offended, and it was not meant "uncivily"- do you consider it to be an offense?
Well, if it's "technically" uncivil, then it's established as uncivil by Dr. Bob, so there's no question. Whether anyone actually *is* offended is not the point. And there's really no way to know that no one is offended, because you can't prove a negative.
But my example was actually about behavior in real life. If someone is angry, and say you can understand why they are angry. Maybe you even feel angry, too. But they choose to, oh say maybe throw a heavy object at you. You're not hit. You understand the anger. You forgive the person. But is the behavior (the throwing of the heavy object) in and of itself acceptable behavior?
I would say no. I know it's not behavior that was acceptable to my parents (of course, that's a huge can o' worms all by itself). And I'll likely teach any kids I might have that such behavior is not acceptable to me. I'm sure that others have different opinions on this, though.
So I guess I don't see the *absolute* connection between behavior that is not consistent with the site's rules and whether anyone in particular was offended or hurt by that behavior.
I could be wrong, but that might be the best I can do at trying to answer your question. I appreciate that you asked me to explain and the dialog. It's got me thinking about some of the ways I was brought up and how it shows up in me today. :)
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:670602
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060622/msgs/671608.html