Posted by headachequeen on November 13, 2004, at 21:42:32
In reply to Re: adverse effects, posted by merry on November 13, 2004, at 20:40:01
I always have something going on. I have a small farm to run and kids to take care of. I'm an artist and a musician. I'm a single mom to boot! But when I get the highs, I really have a hard time functioning normally. I can't get much done because I have so much on my mind all at once. My music can't wait so my animals have to go hungry. My mind starts racing and I can't concentrate on my music. Then I get anxious so I have to paint but then dinner doesn't get made. My house won't get cleaned.
Now this is close to the reality I live when I am not scared to death that if I don't watch my step I may do something to put myself into status epilepticus again...
oh life can be more challenging than I expected;
should have read the fine print...
where we differ is that while I ignore the housework until there is a need for it... company coming and I have an hour to tidy and vacuum this huge old place...
the dogs must be cared for and groomed and their training and socialisation is a priority over anything else and that includes the people....
that is always top of my list no matter what...however, one thing that I have not made properly clear, when I refer to 'artistic temperament'... there is no such thing ...
what I should be saying and I am so tired of misfiring neurons and crossed wires, is ' the so-called artistic temperament...
when people refer to the artistic temperament in talking about the difficulties in dealing with musicians or artists or actors or writers or whatever,
according to my psych, they are actually refering to this out of control condition that leads to the undone or the overdone and to the anger and tantrums and panics that accompany...so when I get cranky and hard to live with, it is because I cannot do all the things in a day that I think I should be able to do... all the things that my mind things I should be able to do and my body screams there is no time no time...
oh some day I will actually be able to put into words what I think and feel and what I actually mean...
I just hope that day comes when I am still able to remember what it was I was trying to explain...it really is not that simple a thing -- the zyprexa made it simpler I guess, as I no longer tried to keep all thep plates spinning -- I didn't even care if one or two of them were moving a little let alone spinning...
I just floated quietly through life...
and felt like a zombie all the time...
add the effexor and as my husband says, I was the walking dead...
probably never had a thought to worry about...kat
poster:headachequeen
thread:5053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041113/msgs/415632.html