Posted by headachequeen on November 13, 2004, at 10:22:25
In reply to Re: adverse effects, posted by bridgey1128 on November 12, 2004, at 23:30:48
> Kat, it sounds just like bipolar II
It does, I know, EXCEPT, in bipolar the highs are driven by forces beyond our control... in this thing whose name eludes me, we drive the highs and the lows...
we achieve something for which we have worked and we are over the moon... high on success of our own creation not high because of some chemical imbalance... well, if we celebrate too much there may be a certain 'chemical' imbalance <s>...
there is a definite difference...
and the lows come when suddenly the drive to get there is over and it is done... there is an emptiness to be filled...
often this is why we need to be doing many things at once, an effort to avoid those lows...this is why I work on two or three written projects at the same time I am working with my partner to develop three proposals to pitch and am working on my job-related things... note I say things plural as I always have several work-related projects on the go... I hate that empty bleak feeling when the success high is over...
oh I love the feeling of sheer elation when I succeed...
the absolute rush that comes with taping a solid program or packaging a really good show or succeeding with a client and dog that really didn't seem to have a hope in the world of learning a thing...
the incredible feeling of euphoria that hits when there is a new project that I have steered to completion... one that comes to mind was spear-heading a drive to raise 75,001.00 for a special building drive... at one point we did a radio fund-raiser, and at the end of that one we had raised over 24 thousand, when it was over the various volunteers were leaving and we were clearing up the phone lines and the wire feed to our studios and so on. When I came out into the lobby my co-workers were there and stood up and cheered... the volunteers whose service group was sponsoring the drive applauded, but my peers recognised what I had done... that was simply over the moon time... and the next day I was in bleak house until I figured out what to do next to fill that emptiness...
this is not bipolar II it is me and my need to be creative and to better than the rest at what I do...
and I still cannot think of the name of the drive that the psychiatrist gave it...
she said that she had the same disorder and she fully understood... and that it really was not a problem as long as one did not burn out too quickly and learned to channel one's interests...
kat
poster:headachequeen
thread:5053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041113/msgs/415405.html