Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 13781

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Re: Sweating and other stuff » CaptainD500

Posted by KimberlyDi on June 18, 2003, at 12:22:29

In reply to Re: Sweating and other stuff, posted by CaptainD500 on June 17, 2003, at 22:36:49

Howdy!

I don't have the sweating effect either from Effexor and I'm from TX also. Wonder if Texans tolerance to long hot summers has anything to do with it? hmmmmmmmm. interesting.

Kim

> Hi All,
>
> It's interesting that everyone seems to be having a sweating problem, which I have not encountered, YET. However, I always sweat anyway so I'm not sure I would tell the difference, especially when it gets 100+ degrees here in Texas.
>
> Currently I am on day 10 at 150mg and I did have something interesting happen today. Normally I'm quite fatigued all day, but this morning I actually had some energy that lasted through noon, then I became somewhat agitated for the remainder of my day. I am once again fatigued and about to try to go to bed and get some sleep, but I'm still a little wound up. Other than that, I'm just peachy! :) At least I can keep my sense of humor, for now.
>
> Obviously I am just a novice at this whole AD thing and I am not qualified to advise anyone else, but I can just tell you my experiences and learn by your experiences. I enjoy reading the posts and appreciate the information that I am getting from it.
>
> Take care all,
> Cap

 

Re: no more effexor » melley

Posted by KimberlyDi on June 18, 2003, at 12:29:26

In reply to no more effexor, posted by melley on June 18, 2003, at 6:01:57

Glad your switch to Wellbutrin is working for you. Doubly glad you didn't give up on AD's <hint hint Cher!> Keep on posting. I'm curious if you have any delayed withdrawal effects from Effexor.

Good luck! Kim

> yesterday I took my last dose of 37.5 mg of effexor. Down from 225 mg. And am now fully on wellbutrin, 300 mg. I have no discernable side effects at all and feel great. I hope I don't have more withdrawal. Spent two weeks at each lower dose. It is so wonderful. I can't believe I stayed on effexor a whole year! I hope it works for others but wasn't for me, I now know.

 

Thanks Brian Re: Effexor » brian green

Posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 12:53:19

In reply to Re: new symptom: inordinate sweating!!, posted by brian green on June 18, 2003, at 0:49:44

Brian,
Thanks for writing me back. I keep seeing all the side effects that everyone is posting and it's scary! I will stick with it though. I want to just feel good about myself, however the weight gain side effect I definately don't want to get. But on the flip side of that, when I'm depressed I eat and when I'm not depressed I actually get up and do things, activities, and don't seem to eat as much either. Probably a catch 22! :)

Yesterday I was bumbed from 37.5 to 75mg of Effexor. I felt a little weird and has a headache. I don't have one today though. I have already taken my pills for the day. No night sweats or anything else yet! :)

I was online reading and writing posts when my husband came in and asked what I was doing. I told him I was in a support group, thinking he was going to laugh at me or think I was weird. He surpised me though. He asked if he could read a couple with me and asked to see what I've written, so I showed him. He thought it was a great idea! He said it is good for me to be talking to others who are actually going through the same feelings and situations that I am. Because he doesn't have depression and has never been on any meds execpt Tylenol, he doesn't quite get what I'm going through. He said great idea and keep doing it. I felt really good about that. Man he's being really supportive about this. It's almost scary. But in a good way.

So Brian, what made you take that leap onto Effexor. Mine you know. It took me to the edge to seek help. How did you know you needed help?
I hope you don't mind me asking. Thanks for being here for me, and if you need to talk too, I'm here for you also. This would be awful to go through alone.

Take care of yourself,
Nyia

 

Re: PDoc -Argh!

Posted by CherC68 on June 18, 2003, at 17:27:02

In reply to Thanks Brian Re: Effexor » brian green, posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 12:53:19

Hi everyone! Okay, so I took all of your advise and tried to get the name and an appointment of the PDoc my internist tried to give me. Guess what? They friggin' don't have a pdog there. They do have therapists though, which is great and all, but...that means no meds of any type. Plus, now they are not sure if my insurance will cover a therapist or pdoc (its Cigna I'm sure it will), but I have to go outside the clinic to find a PDoc.

I will get around to doing that sometime this weekend. I am going through 4-5 panic attacks a day right now, I'm ready to cry at any given time, I'm just stressed out.

Husband is out of town for work again, new windows are being installed tomorrow and I have to try to move all the furniture from the windows. That is why I have to put this off, and hang on a few more days.

Nyia, I am so happy that you sound like you are doing much better now. I'm glad things are working for you. Please keep up the posts, everyone is here for you.

Thank you all, and Brian and Kimberly, I am taking your advise, and Zinya, I will write you more later.

Take Care everyone!
Hugs, Cher

 

Re: Thanks Brian Re: Effexor » NThompson

Posted by brian green on June 18, 2003, at 18:27:04

In reply to Thanks Brian Re: Effexor » brian green, posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 12:53:19

nyia, after having about two yrs of barely getting by at 150 mg, i took myself off for fincancial reasons (like i couldn't find 25 dollars somewhere, that just goes to show how brain screwed i was)i went in to the downs gradually over a few weeks. finally decided to start back and took it for 3 day, drinking at nite heavily to counter act the revving my brain was doing. not sleeping, getting sleeping pills to sleep when I could. trying to work at a very noticable low level, staying in issue at work at every turn, trying to see my mom in the hosp whenever i could muster it, coming home at lunch to cacoon in the dark safety of my room. finally my friend anna who is educated in teh field, and also a sufferer saw the signs in me and convinced me to get help since i was at the brink of the s word. i called the pdoc that day and insisted on a visit. checked myself in to a lock up where they controlled my activity, meds, sleep, eats, etc. for over a week. I came out feeling so much better, but after about 3 weeks of being home I have had to have redosing, many pdoc and therapist visits. I have lost my job over it, and that is what I am dealing with now. However, I know that when my brain is better I will be handle that situation also, with a well mind and body. I am persistent in the meds and therapy, have already been twice this week, and one more on Friday. I would be nuttier if I wasn't doing that. I don't understand these guys getting off their drugs, it is a big mistake to not let the doc make those decisions for you, because most of us are in not mental state to do so for ourselves.
B

 

Re: grogginess and insomnia

Posted by countess on June 18, 2003, at 18:53:54

In reply to Anyone had success on Effexor XR? , posted by jp on October 24, 1999, at 14:59:14

effexor xr 37.5 for two weeks and 75 for 4 days. extremely tired during the day and terrible insomnia at night. i'm wide awake and can't sleep. i take my med at night. does anyone have advice? when to take? does the insomnia go away after awhile? thanks

 

Re: grogginess and insomnia » countess

Posted by brian green on June 18, 2003, at 19:04:59

In reply to Re: grogginess and insomnia, posted by countess on June 18, 2003, at 18:53:54

countess, my doc has me take the eff in the am at bfast and my second dose at lunch. it has a revving up effect on most people, so i would try that. works for me.
Brian

 

Re: PDoc -Argh! » CherC68

Posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 19:07:42

In reply to Re: PDoc -Argh!, posted by CherC68 on June 18, 2003, at 17:27:02

Hi there Cher,

Try to stay calm. If you have to lay down on the couch or something, take a bubble bath in the middle of the day. Try those relaxation tapes with the ocean or a meadow brook or what ever is relaxing to you. If you live in New York, make a copy of the busy street sounds if that makes you comfy! :)

As far as the p-doc, well I had to go looking for a dr outside of my medical offices. The medical group I go to doesn't have p-docs or therapists in their group. But I think I found a good one, he's in Napa, about a 30 minute drive from where I live (yes I live in CA). But it turns out he's great...old...but great. In fact I'm kinda worried that he'll die of old age before I get better! :)

So anyway, I know how crappy it is having your husband out of town for work. All last year til about March of this year he was out of town 6 days out of 7. He would leave Monday morning and come back Saturday night! Take a shower and go right to bed. We spent Sunday doing his laundry and him playing with the kids and taking naps. It really sucked. He left me with everything to do by myself and that is when I think I got visably depressed. I don't know if it was that or the fact that he was out of town but everyone seem to ask me if I was okay.

So hang on there and if you need me let me know. I'm here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or a baloon to lift you up!

Take Care, Nyia

 

Re: Thanks Brian Re: Effexor » brian green

Posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 19:29:37

In reply to Re: Thanks Brian Re: Effexor » NThompson, posted by brian green on June 18, 2003, at 18:27:04

B,
I totally understand where you are coming from. I don't see how I would be qualified to decide that for myself right now. I understand that I need to help myself and understand the meds I'm taking, hence how I found this site, but when I feel good again, does that mean I'm cured and can go off the meds or am I feeling good because the meds are working and I shouldn't go off of them!

As far as work, as long as you're not homeless, get help for yourself first and rest and conquer this. I am not working either, unless you call being a housewife and mother a JOB. It just seems like everyday life for me! But when I was working there were times when I would call into work sick. Sometimes for a week, sometimes 2 weeks. I just couldn't deal, I don't know why but I would hide in the house and lock the doors and turn off everything. I did spend alot of time watching movies though. I love spending a couple of hours involved in something that I don't think about me and the way I feel. I could watch movies all day long, those where the times I felt pretty good. No worries, I was involved in someone else's life on the silver screen!

I know that things have to get better. There is hope. And we need to hold on to that hope. Life might not turn out the way we want it to but, we need to live it the best way we can.

Thanks for sharing with me, get ahold of me if you need to talk.
Nyia

 

Re: grogginess and insomnia » countess

Posted by CaptainD500 on June 18, 2003, at 19:34:53

In reply to Re: grogginess and insomnia, posted by countess on June 18, 2003, at 18:53:54

Countess,

I am on day 11 at 150mg and I sometimes have to take a couple of Excedrin PM to help me get to sleep, however, I do wake up the next morning feeling real groggy muself. I have had problems with insomnia since starting Effexor XR, more in the beginning, but less now. Although I still feel fatigued, it is lessening. In fact, I am starting to feel better now than I was on 75mg. I understand that everyone may not be as fortunate as I have been thus far, but it affects different people different. I hope it gets better for you.

Cap

 

Re: Sweating and other stuff » KimberlyDi

Posted by CaptainD500 on June 18, 2003, at 19:38:06

In reply to Re: Sweating and other stuff » CaptainD500, posted by KimberlyDi on June 18, 2003, at 12:22:29

> Howdy!
>
> I don't have the sweating effect either from Effexor and I'm from TX also. Wonder if Texans tolerance to long hot summers has anything to do with it? hmmmmmmmm. interesting.
>
> Kim
>

Interesting theory Kim.

Cap

 

Re: grogginess and insomniacaptain

Posted by countess on June 18, 2003, at 19:44:05

In reply to Re: grogginess and insomnia ?countess, posted by CaptainD500 on June 18, 2003, at 19:34:53

when do you take your meds? am or pm? and thanks for the info. on things getting better.

 

Re: grogginess and insomniacaptain

Posted by CaptainD500 on June 18, 2003, at 19:53:55

In reply to Re: grogginess and insomniacaptain, posted by countess on June 18, 2003, at 19:44:05

> when do you take your meds? am or pm? and thanks for the info. on things getting better.

I take mine as soon as I get up in the morning, so I don't forget.

 

Re: new symptom: inordinate sweating!! » NThompson

Posted by zinya on June 18, 2003, at 19:59:04

In reply to Re: new symptom: inordinate sweating!! » zinya, posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 0:28:53

Hi NT,
just now checking back in after being unable to log in earlier today apparently due to my own internet...

First, while again we are all individual and all have unique reactions to these drugs, all i can say is that i have had to take vicodin for years as an emergency pain reliever for a spinal problem and when i'm in back or neck pain it's the only thing that works -- but i always take only 1/2 a tablet to begin with, which usually is enough. I've never had a single side effect from it and when you only take it when pain flairs (as soon as possible), it's not addictive either. I've never gotten "habituated" to it and had to take more for same effect.

That said, i've had to take it since starting Effexor too and it's never been a problem. I think the very first time I did, i found myself falling asleep unusually early, which vicodin alone had never done to me, so i assumed it was the combined effect atop the Effexor, which has had its own modest effect on sleepiness for me which the vicodin seemed to compound. But since that first time, I haven't noticed that effect either.

But it's always good to run these things by your doctor -- even to call and leave a question for him to answer to confirm.

Gosh, you're on 75 mg already at day 5. Was that the doc's advice? I'm taking it so much slower than that that i might be a bad gauge, but that's cuz i knew i was hyper-ultra-super-sensitive, so i'm in week 4 and still only at 37.5!! It probably means you're going to mush through the side effects at a faster (but perhaps more intense) pace too. Almost everyone says these symptoms leave after 2 weeks to a month or so. And i think day 5 is possibly too soon to see the positives yet.

Your pdoc meant that the side effects go away as your body gets used to it. BE VERY SURE if you ever should decide to go off of it, that you do NOT go off it cold turkey but scale off very gradually. Everyone but i think one person here has reported horrendous side effects from going off too rapidly.

sending you hugs again and i will sometime say more about my own history here... If you are interested you could trace some of our posts back too and catch up on some things i might not think of even to mention again. I, for example, started on Effexor on May 25 and probably started posting the next day.

 

Re: no more effexor » melley

Posted by zinya on June 18, 2003, at 20:02:15

In reply to no more effexor, posted by melley on June 18, 2003, at 6:01:57

In retrospect, Melley, can you describe what exactly didn't work for you on Effexor and what the difference now is on Wellbutrin -- in terms of both positive and negatives effects of both?

thanks ... and i'm glad you're feeling so much better!
zinya

 

Re: grogginess and insomnia

Posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 20:03:21

In reply to Re: grogginess and insomnia, posted by countess on June 18, 2003, at 18:53:54

Countess, Hi there. I have been on Effexor for 6 days now and I'm at 75mg for 2 days. I was having the insomnia and grogginess even before I took the pills. However, I am taking 37.5mg of Effexor in the morning with 25mg of Paxil and another 37.5mg in late morning or lunch time. I seem to have a ton of energy! Not to mention the pot of coffee I can drink by myself and the Pepsi's I can drink if it's really hot out. Oh, I do drink lots of water too.

Any way, as far as the insomnia goes, my p-doc prescribed 50mg of Trazadone to take before bed time, let me tell you, I have had better sleep, I don't wake up in the middle of the night. Usually I would only get maybe a hour or two a night. Now I go to bed around 10 and wake up at 6-6:30 and I feel great not like I need to go back to sleep.

What are you taking at night? The Effexor? I would talk to your p-doc, see what he/she says, because part of depression is insomnia, so give them a call and ask. It couldn't hurt to!

Take Care and I hope you feel better,
Nyia

> effexor xr 37.5 for two weeks and 75 for 4 days. extremely tired during the day and terrible insomnia at night. i'm wide awake and can't sleep. i take my med at night. does anyone have advice? when to take? does the insomnia go away after awhile? thanks

 

Re: Thanks Brian Re: Effexor

Posted by brian green on June 18, 2003, at 20:12:18

In reply to Re: Thanks Brian Re: Effexor » brian green, posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 19:29:37

Nyia, when you get feeling better, the pdoc will determine if the dose levels are right and you will stay on them. You may get off of them one day in the distant future, I have a friend that has done that, but had to go back from time to time. Your brain will most likely need them to keep your seratonin and neophenprine levels maintained. I will be in touch, you let me know if you need anything!
Brian

 

Re: new symptom: inordinate sweating!! » zinya

Posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 20:18:44

In reply to Re: new symptom: inordinate sweating!! » NThompson, posted by zinya on June 18, 2003, at 19:59:04

Hi Zinya,

Yeah the p-doc prescribed it that way. He was taking about going up in mgs till I feel better. The first 4 days, 37.5mg. Then day 5, 75mg. I stay on that for a couple of weeks and then go from there with the p-doc to see if I stay at 75mg or go higher.

As far as the side-effects no not yet. But at least talking to everyone here I know what to look for. Not to mention I have read some of the posts regarding going off the meds, not something I am wanting to do right now and when it is time I will definately take it slow!

I ask about the vicodin be cause I also had an elbow problem and had to take it along with a gall stone problem and migraines. So my body is use to vicodin if the 800mg Ibruprofen doesn't work. I will as my doc though. Thanks for the advice.

Take care of you,
Nyia

 

Re: grogginess and insomniacaptain » countess

Posted by zinya on June 18, 2003, at 20:21:19

In reply to Re: grogginess and insomniacaptain, posted by countess on June 18, 2003, at 19:44:05

hi Countess,

i haven't had insomnia per se (I had some days of waking up at 3:30 am but then able to get back to sleep except one night - just a couple nights ago, sweating woke me in the middle of the night too but that too was only a one-night thing). Like every side effect, it seems -- curiously -- that we can get opposite effects each of us from the same drug. If anything i fall asleep earlier than before. I used to never sleep before 1-2 am and now i fall asleep, like it or not, closer to midnight most nights.

I'm writing mostly to say that i take mine at night too so i'm not sure that it's time of day that impacts insomnia but it could. Just that there's no direct correlation that applies to all people. I take mine at night mainly to have it on my fullest stomach, an hour after dinner or so, since i have a history of stomach sensitivity and nausea from taking other a-ds in the past (like celexa made me death-warmed-over nauseous to the point i had to quit, as did some others, even taking on full stomach) so i took every precaution here. And i only had some mild nausea the very first day or so on just 19 mg. when i first started.

But that's my reason for taking it at night. If you don't have such a concern, ask your doctor about switching to the morning. The trick would be gradually adjusting your dose to move it to another time of day and hopefully he'd have the best idea. The other thing would be to give it a little more time. Most symptoms (side effects) are supposed to pass in a couple of weeks.

Also, insomnia has been discussed here in the past by many and some have suggested, if i recall, taking Benadryl -- though don't quote me on that. You might check back through the recent months looking for topics like insomnia and see if you can find some more info.

Oh, here's what one poster wrote recently that i copied for possible future reference (though obviously i can't vouch for it):

Posted by kalypsa on June 12, 2003, at 12:53:50

In reply to Re: Effexor-Day 13 (Night-time is the worst), posted by Capri on June 11, 2003, at 21:13:56

Have your dr. prescribe Trazedone to help you sleep. My dr. gave it to me when I started Effexor at a very low dose and I love it. I've had horrible insomnia for years and now I sleep like a baby and wake up feeling great (no hangover like traditional sleeping pills because it's actually just a low dose of an antidepressant that has a sleepiness side effect.

By the way, I've been on Effexor XR for almost 3 weeks and have virtually no side effects so far. Feel a little less anxious, but i'm hoping I feel more benefits the longer I'm on it.

Try the Trazedone. Good luck!

 

Re: grogginess and insomnia

Posted by CaptainD500 on June 18, 2003, at 20:34:29

In reply to Re: grogginess and insomniacaptain » countess, posted by zinya on June 18, 2003, at 20:21:19

I agree with zinya, countess. I couple of years ago, when my pdoc first put me on Paxil, he also gave me Trazedone to take as needed, and boy did I need it. It worked good for me, knocked me out within 20 minutes, and I didn't feel groggy the next day. I have also taken Ambien for a sleep aid, which again knocked me out within 20 minutes, but Ambien has a short life of about 2 hours. It is the plan that, after that, your body will keep you asleep. Sometimes it did and sometimes I would wake up in a few hours, but it did help and I still take it every now and then. Like zinya suggested, I have also used Benadryl Allergy Sinus to help me sleep, but I had problems the next day waking up and dragging the whole day.

The bottom line is, use what works for you, but if you pdoc will give you trazadone, and your insurance will cover it, it's good stuff. If you can't get enough rest, you can't get better no matter what kind of meds you take.

Cap

 

Re: Does everyone on Effexor gain weight?

Posted by gretchen on June 18, 2003, at 21:01:02

In reply to Re: Does everyone on Effexor gain weight?, posted by Napaba on June 16, 2003, at 8:34:00

my two sister-in-laws and I have all gained between 20 and 25 lbs going OFF Effexor! UGH!!!

 

Re: PDoc -Argh! » NThompson

Posted by CherC68 on June 18, 2003, at 21:58:08

In reply to Re: PDoc -Argh! » CherC68, posted by NThompson on June 18, 2003, at 19:07:42

Hi Everyone, Thank you Nyia. Thank you for your encouragement and I am proud of how well you seem to be doing. You coming here for help is helping others. You, and the others and the ever helpful Zinya have all made things easier for me. I'm feeling kinda sad that I couldn't make it on Effexor or Zoloft - but so VERY happy for all of the people that are benefiting so well and hoping it just keeps getting better for them and I'm sending my prayers & online hugs to those that are struggling so much like me.
I feel now that I'm even more depressed than when I first was put on Zoloft 1-1/2 months ago.

I keep thinking its "summer" or that I just got a pool or How Come I just went from full-time legal secretary, while part-time waitressing, as a single mom in a crappy apartment with no money to my life. Now, barely working 18-24 hours a week as a legal secretary, having the greatest husband in the world, the sweetest, best 13 year old boy any mother could wish for, a huge house, new roof, new pool, new windows, new dog, 2 cats and a dang Partridge in a Pair Tree and I'm MISERABLE!

Well again, thank you, and hopefully I can get a therapist or meds (maybe HRT), but I been dreading that, so I can talk their ears off!

Thanks so much, but carpal tunnel is screaming & ibuprophen isn't working.

Hugs to you all. Cher

 

Re: new symptom: inordinate sweating!!

Posted by chefdog35 on June 18, 2003, at 23:25:47

In reply to Re: new symptom: inordinate sweating!!, posted by Shari H. on June 17, 2003, at 7:44:15

ask doc about benzotropine Its for Parkinson but works well I too sweat from effexor. I started taking it again when i started effexor

 

Re: insomnia to Countess and » CaptainD500

Posted by zinya on June 19, 2003, at 0:07:28

In reply to Re: grogginess and insomnia, posted by CaptainD500 on June 18, 2003, at 20:34:29

Hi Countess,

Just wanted to make clear: Cap was giving me credit here for med. suggestions for insomnia he agreed with. I was only relaying others' suggestions, but I myself have not used, or had to use, anything for insomnia ... That has not been one of my side effects, least not yet... :)

 

Re: PDoc -Argh! » CherC68

Posted by zinya on June 19, 2003, at 0:38:24

In reply to Re: PDoc -Argh! » NThompson, posted by CherC68 on June 18, 2003, at 21:58:08

Dear Cher!

I'm so concerned for you, my goodness. I sent you an e-mail some hours ago, I hope you got it....

I get the impression in this post that you feel like you're spiralling. Please reach out when and however you wish or need, any time. I hear you making yourself feel guilty for not being joyful, punishing yourself for not "being yourself" in the face of loving family and "things" and situations which our whole society subconsciously or consciously teaches us to equate with "having arrived" or "reasons to feel good." But the thing about depression [if I may be so bold given how new i am to even beginning to process all this and stop my own half-hearted, abortive prior attempts and procrastinating and finally take it really seriously] is that (among other things) it is absolutely not rational, it's not about things that "make sense" or feelings that seem rational or justified. Depression doesn't care about such stuff. In fact, it seems like such stuff just makes the depression more overwhelming or suffocating if we let the guilt compound it.

I know you've been wondering (at least until the past week) if in fact it was more transitory depression you were dealing with, one that didn't mean needing medical treatment -- and that still could be true. But either way, whether it's something biochemical or hormonal or more transitory, I want so much for you not to lay guilt on yourself for thinking you "should" be happier or you "should" be whatever. Applying this is easier said than done, but i learned some years ago to treat the word "should" like a red flag, to train my ears to perk up and think "Uh oh! Danger signal... Beware of the "shoulds." Especially about feelings. There's no such thing as how you "should" be feeling. Those internalized messages we all have (I shouldn't be afraid; I should be happy) just make us dysfunctional i think. And the friends who can't stop saying "you should this" and "you should that" are the friends i'm staying away from now. Hard enough just telling my own "shoulds" to get lost.

You are where you are, and there are reasons why you are depressed even if you can't see them now. They may be emotional, they may be psychological, they may be physiological (either biochem like serotonin or maybe hormonal or both) or probably some of all of the above, or more. But I hear you telling yourself your depression is "unreasonable" and that is something I wish I could massage out of your system, that guilt or self-chastisement. I know that that is part of the depression itself, so please know i'm *not* -- heaven forbid -- chastising you for feeling guilty!! or for chastising yourself! and i do understand your doing this (if i'm not totally off target in what i hear), but just know that, for what it's worth, there's somebody out here who thinks you're being way way way too hard on yourself. (This is me the pot calling the kettle -- How many times have my friends said this very thing to me, how hard i am on myself. So it feels a bit like Who'm I kidding? to be saying this to you, but always easier said than done...

In such a short time, I've already come to care so much how you are doing and care about you. Please know i'm thinking of you, sending my best peaceful vibes. I know your hands are hurting and I don't want to urge anything painful, but do send word when you can, even short words :)

with warm hugs,
zinya


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