Posted by alexandra_k on April 3, 2014, at 22:55:47
In reply to Re: increasing sensitivity, posted by Partlycloudy on April 3, 2014, at 16:58:52
thanks for the well-wishes.
yeah, things will be okay. there are lots of things i can do in the gym...
i think i stand out a bit for people as... someone who is focused on what i am doing instead of being focused on other people. sometimes i get in the zone... and that seems catchy to others in a positive way.
i suppose i should feel flattered. really i just feel... uncomfortable. honestly... i don't know how to cope / deal with the attention. it just... flusters me. and i don't know what to do. i'm like a deer that is easily startled or something... need people to ignore me so i can settle...
i hear people make the odd remark around me (through my headphones). stuff like 'why doesn't she talk to me?' the thought being that... if someone does what i'm doing then i should talk to them / be their friend. i do understand on some level that people don't actually need me to stop what i'm doing or whatever... they only require some brief little acknowledgement.. an eyebrow raise. a smile. something. i just... can't seem to pull it off. i feel awkward... and scared.. and then.. hostile. i don't know.
:(
sigh.
i rediscovered the rower today. and snoop dogg... black and yellow...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058481
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20140312/msgs/1063635.html