Posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 3:36:53
In reply to here we go social skills..., posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2013, at 3:18:47
> since they will try the happy puppy thing (presenting me with something they pretend to approve of in order to see where i draw the line on approval and start to make fun of / mock) which... gives them important information. which is bizzarre... since i'd typically been supressing my natural inclincation to make fun of / mock all alone...
and this, of course, is the problem. since they can tell that i don't think a great deal of them in the first place... and... i don't... because i've had mostly truly awful experiences of most shop assistants when it comes to buying things. because they don't notice the things that are important to me... because they care about a bunch of things that are not even on my radar...
but then even if this wasn't the case my preconception would f*ck things up.
i... just can't navigate this sort of situation. without other people, at least. demi... 'tis the only person i know who might be partly kinda sorta located about here...
but then thinking back to my med interview last time... what we thought (me and friend like me whom i trusted) we f*ck*d up. f*ck*d the dog badly as my supervisor would say... because... their priorities were different.. they didn't care about clothes... and about trying to care about clothes... they cared about experience in the field.
finding the middle ground these days... between investing in this rather organic experience in the field kind of thing... and investing in the geeky things that... i need... because... that is who i am. i don't know how to be something that is me... that they want at the same time. i mean... i don't want to (i won't) present as something i'm not. but i dno't want to be trying to morph my way into something that is hard for me if that isn't even something they want. i just don't know how to... appropriately direct myself.
but i'm sure an iphone will help.
sigh.
will help me. i don't know what to say.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1057237
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20131211/msgs/1057281.html